Shark of Darkness: Wrath of Submarine

Some family showed this to me, convinced it was real. The acting was bad, the CG was bad, and it was boring and kept repeating the same information. With my limited knowledge of shark facts, I knew the claims about the shark were impossible. They try to explain this away with gems like "Sure it's impossible for a great white to stand still in the water, but this one learned how to breathe without moving I guess! It's a mystery!" I was squirming in my seat just waiting for it to be over. It's poorly presented and gives sharks a bad name. If you're going to make a mock-umentary, at least make it entertaining.

Completely fabricated, hidden behind a tenuous disclaimer. The word documentary should be nowhere near this.

First of all, if you're watching this simply for entertainment and nothing else then it will probably be fine for you. But please, if you're watching this because you want to learn about sharks and their behaviors and hunting methods please watch one of the many wonderful documentaries the both Discovery Channel and NatGeo wild have. There are even many shows about this specific place in South Africa and the unique white shark behaviors there. This movie is full of shark misinformation and exaggeration. It is beyond me why Animal Planet would show this on their channel. Most of the time Animal Planet does much better.

This is not a real documentary. Rather, it is a fictitious story masquerading as a documentary. Think Waiting for Guffman or This is Spinal Tap or Incident at Loch Ness. Pretty much every ostensible person in the film is a character played by a mediocre actor. One of the scientist characters has the unsubtle name of "Conrad Manus." The disclaimer at the beginning is weak and poorly worded.

I would've preferred a "found footage" style horror film. Something like Blair Witch or Paranormal Activity or The Fourth Kind. Hell, even something cool and atmospheric like The Mothman Prophecies, which is more straightforward narrative pretending to be based on true events. That would've been more fun. Instead, it's just a bad-CGI Jaws ripoff.

I was shown this episode of Shark Week by some folks who wholeheartedly believed it was real. I hope I didn't ruin it for them.

I mean, C'mon. If it were real, the people who showed it to me (along with an audience of children) would have had to reckon with the idea that they were showing the violent deaths of actual human beings to all of us. A shark-attack snuff film, if you will.

The only reason I give it more than one star is because the production design is halfway decent.