Tank 432

I'm so sick of finding movies on Netflix that are rated 4 stars or more, and in reality, are nothing higher than zero. In this case, that rating has to be false as no viewer with half a brain would rate it more than a 1, if that? My God, what an awful movie. There's not much I can add that hasn't already been written. Disastrous plot, terrible acting, atrocious dialog, etc., etc. I still have no idea what was going on, or why. And to top it off, I don't care! Avoid this at all cost.

Tank 432 - ahhh, where do I begin with you? I really, really wanted to like Tank 432. I did. I went in with good expectations. From the start they were off. Title says 'Tank' - description says 'Armored Personnel Carrier'. But I suppose APC 432 doesn't sound as scary. There will probably be spoilers because I don't even know what a spoiler would be for this damn movie.

Tank 432 could have been so much better if it had a clear goal in mind. It kept throwing so much in that didn't make sense, didn't belong and just didn't fit. Like Unconscious Girl. Why was she there? What was her purpose? You got me. A big girl-shaped red herring? I am all for anyone's interpretation. What's the orange powder? The experiment? How they manage to destroy an APC with a flamethrower? Why were they locked in when Unconscious Girl could easily open the door? Who were the prisoners and why? Nothing gets answered. At all. Even just a few notes in The Notebook that Guy in Charge kept scribbling in would have sufficed. But no. Even he gets conveniently flare gunned before we can get any answers from him.

The only character that I liked was the medic. She actually was fairly smart, strong and somewhat interesting. In fact, the acting is part of the reason Tank 432 even merits 2 Coolthulhus. The acting was pretty good. The actors didn't have a whole lot to work with but they did the best they could. The feeling of claustrophobia was well done. I got antsy just watching them squirm around the tight spaces and each other. There were some fairly cool shots as well and the camera work was good. The creepy teleporting guys were kind of cool but not enough was done with them. Same with the creepy gas mask creature you get to see all of once. Even an image that could have been so cool (it involves heads and an engine compartment) was skipped over. You know what we do get to see? Some guy taking a crap, getting it on his hand and then smearing it on his face. Yay.

Apparently there is an end credit scene that 'explains' it was all a test. We can figure out that it's a test and partly why. They're obviously testing some kind of Orange Crush drug called 'Kratos' for chemical warfare, either to amp up their soldiers or to use on the 'enemy'. What's not answered is literally everything above. For the 'test' concept to work multiple groups of mercenaries/soldiers would all have to have zero memories besides the task they're set to. This would require no questions or conversation with their squad, no conversation with the 'Prisoners' (their role in this is a total mystery) and destroying a 'tank' each time. Presuming this is test number 432 (and I could be wrong about that), that's 432 tanks destroyed. It also counts on these mercs doing the exact same things as the previous trials. What if they retreated to the woods instead of the tank? When you add in all of the questions above it just doesn't work. You should not rely on an end credit scene to explain your movie for you. Because most people won't see it.

Movies that are outright bad are far less frustrating than movies that could be good. Tank 432 falls into this latter category. There were so many things they could have done to make Tank 432 a much better movie. Even a small explanation would have gone a long way to making this better. As it stands I can't recommend this. Not unless you like feeling frustrated. I'm getting very tired of movies that end with no ending. It can work if the movie is done well. If it's given you the pieces to fit it together. Then there are these movies. Movies that just throw random stuff at you then say "Well, you just don't get it" if you have questions. You're right. I don't get it because it doesn't make any sense. Crush this one with an actual tank.

The acting was fair, Gordon Kennedy keeps popping up, but having seen the ending coming a mile off after 10 minutes I only watched to the end for the slim chance of being proved wrong. I was not. The film started off mysteriously, asking the viewer to draw their own plot lines with weak special effects and oddball performances. Too much too soon. Perhaps it was my own fault for watching 'Darkest Day' about a month previous and expecting something different, nothing was - except the acting which was immensely improved but pi**ed away by the tired old plot. Shot with competence but no real flair for suspense, character building or even editing the film promised far more than it had to give.

I tried

Whenever I see such a horrible, horrible movie I can't help but wonder why people make such total waste of time cinema?! Why would anyone produce and star in this awful movie? Low budget does not mean to throw non-watchable motion pictures at our faces! The only thing I can say about this movie is that the scene of one of the characters taking a dump truly represents it! Pure crap! Unbelievable characters with no background or depth, ridiculous plot, unexplained events, motives, actions, doped girl that just wakes up to scream and is put to sleep all the time and stupid end and the list of absurdities go on and on and on, let alone that 80% of the dialogue is the F word! I never saw a movie in which all characters keep swearing all the time using this word in almost each sentence they utter! Stop making such awful, infuriating movies for God's sake!

My quick rating - 4.0/10. Well, that was a movie where it ended and my thought was "ok, take it or leave it" it certainly didn't have any strong points. The acting was "there", the dialogue was non-existent without using the f-word. Sentences often made absolutely no sense when uttered. Not sure why this is considered a "horror" either. Barely a psychological thriller really. I only gave it a 4 because I appreciated the claustrophobic feeling these people must've endured and the poorly acted insanity it would bring out. Slight side note, I read a review that compared it to "Dog Soldiers" and I have no idea what that reviewer was smoking, but it doesn't even hold a candle to that movie. Almost an insult putting them in the same sentence.