Blood Feast

The H.G.L original is pretty much sacred turf and as an original film, is nigh impossible to recreate (in any shape or form). Saying that the modern 'Hardgore' scenes add practically nothing to the story, or does the hack style of acting. This is a pretty poor show and apart from the leading actor (who shows some promise), the rest of the cast are just all wrong.

I rarely write reviews, but I must save the viewing audience. I waited 2 years for this disappointment! Poor script and pointless Gore.. Oh and the worst part, it ends abruptly as if they ran out of film or money... Don't waste your time or you'll be sorry. I can promise you that..

Fuad Ramses (Robert Rusler) moves to Paris with his wife and daughter (Caroline Williams and Sophie Monk) where he has spent every last cent opening an American diner in the suburbs. To make ends meet, Fuad also works as a nightwatchman at a museum, where he encounters Egyptian goddess Ishtar, who promises him life eternal as her lover. But first he must serve up a special feast in her honour...

Herschel Gordon Lewis' influential splatter classic Blood Feast is undeniably amateurish and quite dull, but at least it's gory; Marcel Walz's 2016 version of the film is even more boring than the original and almost as inept, but doesn't even deliver on the blood and guts.

A full fifty minutes of dreary, badly scripted, poorly acted build up precedes the film's one and only genuinely gory moment, a juicy throat slashing, after which the film settles back into 'dry' mode. The remainder of the movie is uneventful and, despite its handful of recognisable 'stars', the whole thing lacks professionalism.

What this film needed was a better supporting cast (the European performers are terrible), a degree of intentional cheeze, a sense of fun, and, most importantly, lots of graphic gore so that it could at least live up to the title.

Worse than the original film, worse than Blood Feast 2: All U Can Eat (2002), much worse than Mardi Gras Massacre (1978), and even worse than Blood Diner (1987), about the only thing going for this mess is the suggestion that Ishtar is a figment of Fuad's imagination, the restaurateur having neglected to take his daily medication for an unspecified ailment - an interesting idea, but it's not enough to prevent me giving this garbage the lowest possible rating.

I didn't connect this film with the original until I heard the crazy mans name. Not exactly sure why this is set in Paris or why they changed the focus to the chef. The chef in the original while still being a crazy man was really more of a side character. The casting was OK except for the 30 year old not so fresh faced daughter, who is a horrible actress at least in this but some of that falls on who ever cast this movie because she is clearly 10 + years to old for the character she plays. In a pleasant surprise the mother who I recognized but couldn't place her for awhile in fact it was past the midpoint of the movie until I put it together, I let you figure it out. If your a big horror movie fan you should know who she is. If you read this before you watch the film watch the original at least part of it because I most likely would not have watched the whole movie if I didn't make the connection to the original. Its public domain so it's on YouTube as well as most of the old horror movie channels on Roku or whatever service have like that. It's not horrible but it's not great if you have a problem finding something to watch the 1963 version first the stories are different enough so it won't feel like you've watched twice.

I've seen some terrible movies in my lifetime, and this one is no different. Talent-less actors, weak special effects, the movie takes forever to get going and when it does it looks like a bad porn film. Really, this movie is just terrible and everyone involved should be embarrassed. Tragic film making at its worst.