Pitchfork

I had high hopes for this movie. The very opening scene cinematography was quite good but unfortunately that was it. There are many things wrong with this film; some really bad acting, poorly edited scenes, lack of pace, devoid of menace and atmosphere to this wannabe slasher movie. It also was illogical and had many plot holes. The constant back lit fog effect was clichéd and so poorly executed as if the production wanted to get their money's worth from the fog machine even when the conditions made it look ludicrous. I think the director watched Nightmare On Elm Street as he plagiarized quite a few scenes but alas, Freddy Krueger was infinitely more menacing than this clown in a furry mask. This whole movie was a tired, badly acted and amateurish affair. It wasn't the worst movie I've seen but it's certainly not one I'd recommend.

just so you know i love horror movies. i really do,but when you make a movie about a killer that has slim Jim pitch fork fingers for hands. you begin to question the crap your watching as it reminds me of a really bad gwar band that had a bad day off at Sunday camp and created a family accident. this was a cheap and lazy attempt at recreating an 80's like slasher flick. this movie reminds me of some retard on a bike just screaming a bunch of monkey at people, and for some reason has a camera. yes he found this camera and decided it was a cool idea to make a horror movie about an era he knew nothing about. there is no amount of love in this movie.

everything is sloppily done. like everything was either taken in one take or for some reason decided they should cheap monkey it. every person in this film in unrelatable and basically murder trash for the guy with the slim Jim glove. the kills are crap. you know if your gonna make your film look like it was lit like and 80's movie or something out of that era. you sure got everything wrong. the colours, the overdone over done lighting. i mean it looked like i was in a very bad painting by bob Ross. it just didn't have anything. each and every dark or tense scene looked like it was made in broad daylight, and then decided it would be cooler to turn every single thing all the way up and said cool i'm OK with that. oddly enough this movie does look like it was made for 35 cents and the staff were paid in Tim Horton's coffee omg.

i didn't like anyone. you know the moment an actor looks like a Calvin Klein model but sounds like your cousins husband George. you really really really need to stop and think. why am i hear and why is my son almost exactly the same age as me. yes they dyed someones hair to makem look like they were old. each scene was full of stupidity. i give this movie four censored you's and a preztel. this movie also gets the dreadful 0 banana cream pie for being an absolute trite of a film. you clearly know nothing about creep factor. you just took every bad trope from that era, put them in odd spots that don't make sense, then for some blatantly bad lazy idea you decide it's cool to look like we're in a weird part of town that people over act in. you made every scene boring, you made every scene feel cheap and uncaring. yes everything was so over the top, the 80's felt offended.

who lit this movie. sure the concept and movie is fun, but when your advertising yourself as an intensely scary movie, with 80's tropes and ordeals. don't censor it up by not knowing what the hell your doing. man. get the look right. don't get no censored sausage hand finger man after me man. how is that scary? that's like asking me out to dinner and saying i'm the sausage man and need a bun. stop making lazy horror. i know this stuff is cool, but if your going to make horror make it right. don't turn it into a child friendly movie about a man that for some reason decides to kill cuz they came onto his property. god this movie needs to go eat at a Denny's and censor off. god. this is worse then listening to Kenny g playing his clairnet. it's just horrible. i'd rather eat pizza pizza then watch this again.

This POS movie was like if S Club 7 tried to make a horror movie. It was awful. The acting. The script. The cinematography. Hackneyed doesn't begin to cover it. Nothing about it made sense. Trite clichés abound. Avoid at all costs. Not even worth a "so bad its good" watch. Burn all the copies. Purge it from history. What more can be said about something which is in equal parts insulting, dumb, poorly crafted, idiotic, illogical, clichéd, boring and s**t.

My god, how many goddamn spotlights does one farmer have strewn around his property. Shining into the goddamn camera.

The barn dance scene was where I knew I had made a huge huge mistake.

I get it, you are from New York. That van made me angry. It was like someone who has never seen a movie decided to make a movie. AVOID.

Right from the get go I hated every character in this movie. The acting was atrocious except from the two actors portraying the parents in the final act. There was no real emotion coming from any character. That whole barn dance scene, cuz you know, every New Yorker knows how to do a perfectly choreographed line dance. Once we get into the killing there was nothing new here. Just your typical death by numbers tropes. Not to mention that we don't even really get to see any of the kills. If your looking for gore, look elsewhere, except for a couple scenes near the end. And even then it's nothing that makes you go "whoa that was brutal". As for the killer himself I have no clue as to why they made him act like some sort of animal. All in all avoid this or you'll want to put a pitchfork in your eyes.

A man celebrating his coming out party at the family country home, is forced to do battle with a man who has a pitchfork attached to his hand with barb wire. His friends are fatally poked one by one until only a few who are left have to stick together to survive.

I was going to give this a two until I seen the ending. This film first cooks itself when we watch some country square dance routine to Honey, I'm Good. If you can endure that number they do a couple more. There is one sick scene where a woman pees in a jar and then pours it over a gaping wound in a man's head.

Nothing new at all just rehashed other films done with crap actors. Somebody just wanted to showcase some dance moves and had to come up with a film idea to do it. Avoid this one