Anthony Ramos credited as playing...
Noah Diaz
- Elena Wallace: [under attack by Scourge and his minions] Stop following me.
- Noah Diaz: I'm not following you. I'm just escaping in the same direction.
- Mirage: Okay, so where is this t-tran, t-trun...
- Arcee: Transwarp Key?
- Mirage: Thank you.
- Arcee: It's in the new museum on Ellis Island.
- Bumblebee: Let's blow it up and get the hell out of Dodge.
- Arcee: No, we can't just go in blasting and steal it, Bee. The humans will hunt us down. What we need is a quiet way in.
- Mirage: [getting down from a scaffold, Noah makes a loud noise of clattering metal] Ooh, how about him?
- Optimus Prime: No.
- Mirage: What? Come on, man. He could slip in right through one of them little doors, grab the Key, leave a nice IOU, and peace out. He's perfect.
- Noah Diaz: What?
- Optimus Prime: No, it is a bad idea.
- Noah Diaz: I agree with Big Man. So, it's been real, y'all. But...
- Mirage: Uh, time-out.
- Optimus Prime: Mirage.
- Mirage: No, no, I know, I know. Just relax. Let me just talk to my guy real quick.
- Arcee: Mirage, what have you done?
- Optimus Prime: You brought a human here?
- Mirage: Optimus! Hey! Looking good, man! Wait a second. Are those new rims?
- Optimus Prime: You were told to stay hidden.
- Mirage: Right, right. Crazy coincidence. When you called, all Optimus-like...
- [imitating Prime]
- Mirage: "Autobots, roll out!" - this guy was already in the car. But he's cool, so it's cool. Cool?
- Optimus Prime: [picking Noah up] Not cool. Who are you, human?
- Noah Diaz: I'm nobody. I ain't even seen nothing. I'm not even seeing anything right now.
- Optimus Prime: Arcee.
- Arcee: [scanning him] Private Noah Diaz, U.S. Army. Multiple commendations. A wizard with electronics. Huh. He's a soldier.
- Optimus Prime: He does not look like a soldier.
- Noah Diaz: I mean, you looking pretty rough yourself.
- Mirage: [snickering] Sorry, sir.
- Optimus Prime: I will deal with your mistake later.
- Noah Diaz: I'm just trying to collect this money and get your angry-ass boss off of Earth before he blows a gasket.
- Mirage: Don't take it personal. He just misses home. And I think he blames himself for us getting stuck here. Earth was supposed to be a pit stop, you know, a place for us to regroup and rejoin the war back home. Prime feels like it's his fault we've been stranded here, like he has to fix it all on his own.
- Noah Diaz: So, y'all are robots that transform into cars, even though you're from way out in space. But now there's this key that opens a portal back to your home. Oh, and you know this because there's a beacon light in the sky that I can't see because I'm human.
- Mirage: You say that like it's weird.
- Noah Diaz: It's super weird.
- Mirage: You know what's weird? Marky Mark is leaving the Funky Bunch! I heard he's just gonna pursue acting now. That's crazy!
- Noah Diaz: What? How does that...
- Mirage: What a world.
- Agent Burke: We know a lot about you, Mr. Diaz.
- Noah Diaz: Who are you? Like, the CIA or FBI or...
- Agent Burke: We are a secret government organization. Strictly off the books. We specialize in global threats. Planetary loss prevention, that kind of thing. We're in the middle of an ongoing war, and we'd love to have you join the fight. You and your whole team. You know, the big guys.
- Noah Diaz: No idea what you're talking about.
- Agent Burke: That's a good answer. All right. Either way, I want you to know, in lieu of the thanks of a grateful nation, we will be taking care of your brother Kris's healthcare. All of it. From now on, he will have 24/7 access to the greatest doctors in the world. And these are doctors who don't ask their patients about account balances.
- Noah Diaz: Are you serious?
- Agent Burke: You saved the world, kid. It's the least we can do.
- Noah Diaz: I don't know what to say.
- Agent Burke: We'll work on that.
- [sliding a business card over]
- Agent Burke: Your brother's gonna be just fine. Oh. Kris was right, by the way.
- [opening a secret entrance with a plaque on his wall]
- Agent Burke: No names over the airwaves. We could really use someone like you, Noah. Why don't you think about it?
- Noah Diaz: [picking the business card up] GI Joe?
- Noah Diaz: [stealing a car] What am I doing?
- Reek: Well, the coast is clear out here, so whenever you wanna slide that thing on out, you good.
- Noah Diaz: I can't. I can't.
- Reek: Like you can't drive stick or something?
- Noah Diaz: No, it's just... I ain't no thief.
- Reek: Are you having an existential crisis now? The deadline for that was when I offered you Twizzlers.
- Optimus Prime: This is an emergency. Can you hear me, Mirage? Roll out!
- Reek: Hey, yo, who the hell was that?
- Noah Diaz: That's the radio, bro. This car is buggin'. I'm out.
- Mirage: [asking Noah for help to obtain the Transwarp Key] Yo, don't leave me with these tight-asses, bro. We make a great team.
- Optimus Prime: This is a waste of time.
- Noah Diaz: Look, I'm not breaking into a museum for some space robots.
- Mirage: But what about for friendship?
- [seeing Noah isn't convinced]
- Mirage: Uh, uh... or, or, or what about for cash?
- [Noah's interest piques]
- Mirage: Uh-huh. You help us get this key, so we can get off this rock - no offense. Love the neighborhood and all. - And then I let you sell me.
- [transforming]
- Mirage: Lambo? Ferrari? Indy? Look, you get paid and then I'll split.
- Noah Diaz: So all I gotta do is walk in and out?
- Mirage: All you gotta do. We'll take care of the rest. Cross my spark and hope to die. Wow! That was corny when I said it out loud.
- Noah Diaz: What about the big man? Optimal, or whatever.
- Mirage: You let me worry about him. Cool?
- Kris Diaz: Hey, look. Superman went on a bunch of interviews before he got his job on the Daily Planet. But he never gave up.
- Noah Diaz: I'm not Superman, Kris. Life ain't a comic book.
- Kris Diaz: I'm just saying, you'll get the next one.
- Noah Diaz: Yo, there is no next one. No one's coming to save us. We're alone in this.
- Reek: There you go. Let that breath fill you up. In...
- [inhaling]
- Reek: ...out.
- Noah Diaz: Please stop talking.
- Reek: Okay, all right, I get it, you don't like to chitchat back and forth. But I got something for you.
- [he inserts a cassette tape into his car's tape player, which Noah can hear over his end of their two-way radio]
- Noah Diaz: You got a robbing mixtape?
- Reek: Uh, no. I got a liberating mixtape.
- Arcee: All right, team, heads up. There's security up ahead.
- Mirage: Nice! This is gonna be fun, man.
- Noah Diaz: No, no, no. No, bro. You need to switch it up. I-I... you need to turn into a helicopter or a speedboat or something.
- Mirage: I got something way better than that.
- [cut to the museum, where Noah pulls up to the gate in a garbage truck and security lets him in]
- Noah Diaz: Good call.
- Optimus Primal: We have a small window before the portal opens large enough for Unicron to enter. The bridge is girded by a series of tunnels. They are too small for Maximals, but...
- Cheetor: But not for humans.
- Optimus Primal: If Noah and Elena reach the central antenna, they can use the code to shut it down, remove the Transwarp Key, and close the portal before Unicron enters our atmosphere.
- Arcee: But Scourge will be watching our every move. He'll do anything to stop us from getting the key.
- Optimus Prime: Then we bring the fight to him. Autobots and Maximals will charge the bridge together and lure Scourge onto the battlefield.
- Noah Diaz: While me and Elena sneak in through the back way.
- Wheeljack: It sounds like we're all going to die.
- Optimus Prime: If we are to die, then we will die fighting all as one.
- Noah Diaz: At least the foot soldiers took the bait.
- Elena Wallace: Yeah, but Scourge didn't. He's guarding the key.
- Mirage: All right, this should lead to the bottom of the Transwarp control panel. Get the key, get the hell out of there.
- Noah Diaz: Wait, what are you gonna do?
- Mirage: I'm gonna go distract Scourge.
- Noah Diaz: No, you can't take on Scourge alone.
- Mirage: Relax. I'm Mirage, remember?
- Noah Diaz: Hey, back there you called me Sonic.
- Mirage: Yeah. Your little bro's got this thing about using real names over the airwaves, so...
- Noah Diaz: Wait, you've been talking to Kris?
- Mirage: Uh-huh.
- [showing the walkie-talkie fused into his arm]
- Mirage: He gave me this to keep tabs on you, make sure I'm keeping my promise.
- Noah Diaz: [offering back the weapon Mirage gave him] Oh, here. Next time, include warning labels.
- Mirage: Nah, go ahead, keep it.
- Noah Diaz: I guess it does look better on me.
- Mirage: Just don't ask what part of my body it came from.
- Optimus Prime: Autobots, Maximals, retreat to safety. I will destroy the key myself.
- Arcee: Prime! No!
- Noah Diaz: There's gotta be another way.
- Optimus Prime: Bee, protect them.
- Optimus Primal: Your sacrifice becomes our oath.
- Optimus Prime: Thank you, my friends.
- Mirage: [after a car chase with the NYPD] Whoo-hoo-hoo! That felt good! Get some oil pumping, you know? Damn! I've been cooped up forever, dude. I can't tell you how old it gets!
- [imitating Prime]
- Mirage: "Mirage, stay hidden. Mirage, don't draw any attention to yourself. Mirage, 'Big' is just a movie. You'll never be a real boy." But that was fun, man. You're fun, dude.
- [seeing Noah is freaked out]
- Mirage: Oh, right. This is probably a lot for you, huh?
- Noah Diaz: [picking up a piece of pipe to defend himself] Yo, back up.
- Mirage: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's with the aggression? I thought after the car chase, we were boys. Are you gonna hit me?
- Noah Diaz: Maybe.
- Mirage: It's like that?
- [he aims a plasma gun on his arm, but Noah stands firm]
- Mirage: Hmm. Tough guy. I like that. I like it a lot.
- Noah Diaz: What are you? Some sort of possessed car or something?
- Mirage: Nah. That's not real, man. I'm an alien.
- Noah Diaz: Like... like E.T.?
- Mirage: E.T.? The little ugly guy in the basket? Look at this face! The name's Mirage.
- [holding out his hand for a fist bump]
- Mirage: Come on. Give me a little, give me a little. Give me a little. Give a little tap. Give me a little tap.
- [Noah fist-bumps]
- Mirage: There you go! Now we're friends!
- Bumblebee: [announcing his arrival] I have come here to kick ass.
- Noah Diaz: Glad to have you back.
- Optimus Prime: Everyone, guard the bridge! Elena, shut it down!