Paul Rudd credited as playing...
Scott Lang • Ant-Man
- Scott Lang: [shrunk down to a child's size; runs into Pym's car after going undercover in a school]
- Dr. Hank Pym: Hiya, champ, how was school today?
- Scott Lang: Aw, ha ha ha! Alright, get your jokes out now, can you fix the suit?
- Hope van Dyne: So cranky.
- Dr. Hank Pym: You want a juice box and some string cheese?
- Scott Lang: Do you really have that?
- Scott Lang: Hold on, you gave her wings?
- Dr. Hank Pym: And blasters.
- Scott Lang: Wings and blasters. So I take it you didn't have that tech available for me.
- Dr. Hank Pym: No, I did.
- Scott Lang: [sees Sonny Burch on a ferry that sails away] How did he even have time to buy a ticket?
- [tries to shrink down to his miniature size by pressing a button]
- Scott Lang: Won't you just, one time, please, work!
- [successfully shrinks down to his miniature size]
- Scott Lang: Yes! Oh, alright, I need help. Yes!
- [calls in a flying ant, though it is eaten by a bird]
- Scott Lang: Oh... sorry.
- Scott Lang: [calls in another flying ant, but it is again eaten by a bird] Hey! Come on, man! Not cool!
- [the same thing happens with multiple other flying ants]
- Scott Lang: Murderers!
- [one flying ant catches him and starts to fly him to the ferry]
- Scott Lang: Yes! I'm gonna call you ANT-onio Banderas!
- [another bird eats ANT-onio]
- Scott Lang: No, no!
- [lunges off the flying ant and starts falling]
- Scott Lang: ANT-onio!
- [last lines]
- Scott Lang: Hello? Ha-ha, very funny. Hank, quit screwing around. You told me yourself, not screw around.
- [cut to Dr. Hank Pym, Hope van Dyne and Janet has all been disintegrated]
- Scott Lang: Hank? Hope? Janet? Guys... Guys? Be seriously, don't joke around! Bring me up, let's go! GUYS!
- Jimmy Woo: You got away with it this time, Scott, but I'll be seeing you again.
- Scott Lang: Where?
- Jimmy Woo: Huh?
- Scott Lang: Where will you be seeing me again?
- Jimmy Woo: Like, in general I'll see, like, the next time you... do something bad I'll be there...
- Scott Lang: Oh.
- Jimmy Woo: ...to catch you.
- Scott Lang: You'll be watching and...
- Jimmy Woo: Yeah.
- Scott Lang: I thought you were inviting me somewhere.
- Jimmy Woo: Why would I do that?
- Scott Lang: That's what I was wondering. Why would you do that? I...
- Jimmy Woo: Like a party? Or dinner or something?
- Scott Lang: I don't know, I thought you were...
- Jimmy Woo: No, I meant...
- Scott Lang: ...planning the evening.
- Jimmy Woo: No, I meant to, like, arrest you.
- Scott Lang: No, that'd be a little strange.
- Jimmy Woo: Like, I'll arrest you later again.
- Scott Lang: Take it easy.
- Jimmy Woo: Okay.
- [turns to leave then turns back to Scott]
- Jimmy Woo: Did you want to grab dinner or something? Because, I mean -
- [Scott shakes his head no]
- Jimmy Woo: Because I'm free...
- Dr. Hank Pym: Relax. No one's gonna recognize us.
- Scott Lang: What, because of hats and sunglasses? It's not a disguise, Hank. We look like ourselves at a baseball game.
- Hope van Dyne: Oh, my God. You *didn't* destroy the suit?
- Dr. Hank Pym: WHAT?
- Scott Lang: Well, it was your life's work, Hank. I couldn't destroy that. Before I turned myself in, I shrunk it down and mailed it to Luis.
- Dr. Hank Pym: You sent my suit through the MAIL?
- Scott Lang: Hey, the postal service is very reliable, you know? They do tracking numbers now. Like UPS.
- Scott Lang: I had a dream. She was playing hide and seek with a little... girl. Cassie and I do it all the time. It doesn't mean anything.
- Hope van Dyne: But, was it Cassie in the dream?
- Scott Lang: No.
- Hope van Dyne: Where was she hiding?
- Scott Lang: What?
- Hope van Dyne: The little girl, where was she hiding. Was it in a wardrobe?.
- Scott Lang: No, in a tall dresser
- Dr. Hank Pym: You mean a wardrobe.
- Scott Lang: Is that what that's called?
- Dr. Hank Pym: Last night we powered up the tunnel for the first time. It overloaded, and it shut down. But for a split second, the doorway to the Quantum Realm was opened.
- Scott Lang: And?
- Hope van Dyne: And five minutes later, you called. Talking about Mom.
- Dr. Hank Pym: We think when you went down there, you may have entangled with her.
- Scott Lang: Hank, I would never do that. I respect you too much.
- Dr. Hank Pym: *Quantum* entanglement, Scott.
- Dr. Bill Foster: I was partners with Hank on a project called Goliath.
- Dr. Hank Pym: Excuse me? You were my partner?
- Dr. Bill Foster: The only thing more tiring than going big was putting up with Hank's bullshit.
- Scott Lang: Right... I don't know. How big did you get?
- Dr. Bill Foster: My record? 21 feet.
- Scott Lang: Not bad.
- Dr. Bill Foster: You?
- Scott Lang: I don't...
- Dr. Bill Foster: No, really. I'm curious.
- Scott Lang: 65 feet. Yeah.
- Dr. Bill Foster: Whoa! Huge.
- Scott Lang: 65.
- Hope van Dyne: If you two are finished comparing sizes... we need to figure a way to track down the lab.
- Hope van Dyne: What took you so long?
- Scott Lang: Sorry, I had to come up with a name for my ant. I'm thinking Ulysses S. Gr-Ant.
- Dr. Hank Pym: Just tell me you weren't lying about the suit you took. Tell me you really destroyed it.
- Scott Lang: I did. I destroyed it. I swear.
- Dr. Hank Pym: I can't believe you destroyed my suit! That was my life's work.
- Cassie: There! It's the microtreasure!
- Scott Lang: My trophy?
- Cassie: It looks like treasure.
- Scott Lang: Oh, it is to me.
- Cassie: I wanna take it to show and tell.
- Scott Lang: Oh, you can't do that. Can't. It never leaves the house. It's too important. This is the best birthday present you ever got me. I'm so touched you think I'm the 'World's Greatest Grandma.'"
- Cassie: It was the only one they had.
- Scott Lang: Makes me wanna knit you a sweater.
- Cassie: Why can't you just leave my daddy alone?
- Jimmy Woo: Oh, Cassie. This must all seem like a bunch of confusing grown-up stuff to you, huh? Well, think of it this way. Your school has rules, right? Like, you can't draw on the walls. Well your daddy went to Germany and drew on the walls with Captain America. And that was a violation of Article 16, Paragraph Three of the Sokovia Accords. Now, as a part of his joint plea deal with Homeland Security and the German government... he was allowed to return to the U.S. provided he serve two years under house arrest followed by three years of probation. And avoid any unauthorized activities, technology or contact with any former associates who were or currently are in violation of said Accords. Or any related statutes. Ok, sweetie?
- Scott Lang: Wow, you're really great with kids.
- Jimmy Woo: Thanks, I'm also a youth pastor.
- Dr. Hank Pym: So I'm a terrible partner? Foster, he hasn't had one good idea in his unremarkable career.
- Hope van Dyne: But his idea about the diffractors could work, right?
- Dr. Hank Pym: Fine, one decent idea. Except I eliminated the diffractors when I upgraded the suits.
- Scott Lang: So, if we had an old suit, we might be able to track down the lab?
- Dr. Hank Pym: Yes, but we don't.
- Scott Lang: What if we did?
- Hope van Dyne: What do you mean?
- Scott Lang: I mean... life's funny.
- Hope van Dyne: [hearing Scott describe his dream] What color was it?
- Scott Lang: Red.
- Hope van Dyne: Where there horses on it?
- Scott Lang: Oh, boy.
- Hope van Dyne: It's where I hid every time that we played.
- Scott Lang: It doesn't sound like you really got the gist of the game.
- Hope van Dyne: [hugging Hank] She's alive.
- Cassie: I had a fun weekend, Daddy.
- Scott Lang: Me too, peanut. But just wait 'til next weekend. Once I'm out of here, you and I are gonna go paint this town red. We'll have so much ice cream, we'll never stop puking.
- Maggie: [pantomiming retching, he "throws up" playing cards] You're getting good at that.
- Paxton: How'd you do that?
- Jimmy Woo: Not to be a Johnny ask-a-lot, but you haven't had any contact with Hank Pym or Hope van Dyne, have you?
- Scott Lang: No.
- Jimmy Woo: You sure? Because it's only a matter of time before we get 'em. It was their tech, so they violated the Accords, too. And associating with them breaks your deal. And, uh, I don't need to remind you that any violation of your agreement means 20 years in prison. Minimum.
- Scott Lang: I haven't talked to Hank or Hope in forever.
- Cassie: They hate his guts.
- Scott Lang: [sarcastic] Thanks, peanut.
- Jimmy Woo: How'd you do it, Scott?
- Scott Lang: Do what?
- Jimmy Woo: The card trick.
- Scott Lang: Seriously?
- Scott Lang: Come on, Woo. I've got three days left. Why would I try to escape?
- Jimmy Woo: Sorry, Scott, but rules are rules. You trip the perimeter alarm, we search the place. Keel to stern, soup to nuts.
- Scott Lang: [an agent accidentally drops something and it breaks] Thank you. It was an accident. My foot went through the fence.
- Cassie: Our flying ant crashed.
- Scott Lang: [seeing Woo's look] Hey, you try and entertain a ten-year-old when you can't leave the house. You know the lengths that I've gone to?
- [conjuring a playing card]
- Scott Lang: Close-up magic.
- [conjuring the card from behind Cassie's ear]
- Scott Lang: I learned that.