Salma Hayek credited as playing...
Nancy Teagarten
- Frank Teagarten: Do you really need all these panties and stuff, honey?
- Nancy Teagarten: No. I'm going to hide them... I don't want him *going* all over my lingerie.
- Frank Teagarten: The word is "cuming", honey. Cuming.
- Nancy Teagarten: [to Carl] You know what? Fine with me. Because I'm not even sure that I want you in my house, sleeping in our bed, inside our sheets, where I sleep naked all the time.
- [to Frank]
- Nancy Teagarten: And when he finds our home videos - didn't I tell you not to film that.
- Nancy Teagarten: I remember pulling the cork. It made that pop sound like the crunch sound Eve probably made when she bit the apple.
- Nancy Teagarten: You have to be rich to be skinny. All the cheap foods are the ones that pork you up. The sugars. The carbs. The corn syrup.
- Trey Donnelly: Do you have any 9-volt batteries?
- Nancy Teagarten: Me?
- Trey Donnelly: Can I search you?
- Nancy Teagarten: What?
- Trey Donnelly: Nothing.
- Carl Mancini: Why are we going through the backyard?
- Frank Teagarten: Why is the sky blue?
- Carl Mancini: Because sunlight is refracted by dust particles in the air and blue is the dominant color on the spectrum?
- Nancy Teagarten: Did you learn that *in* the 5th Grade or *from* a 5th grader?
- Carl Mancini: Ouch.
- Nancy Teagarten: Absolutely no fucking way! This is where we draw the line.
- Frank Teagarten: I don't know what's on the other side of that line. But, I do know what's on this side of that line. And it is bleak.
- Tyler: Just remember: grass can grow through concrete.
- Nancy Teagarten: [to Frank] Did he say your ass can grow?
- Nancy Teagarten: Get your hands off my ass!
- Carl Mancini: You said push.
- Nancy Teagarten: I said push, not fondle. Watch the thumb.
- Nancy Teagarten: You cannot trust those millionaires from Silicon Valley. Silicon is fake!
- [grabs her breast]
- Nancy Teagarten: Like the fake silicon boobs. They're fake millionaires. They're nouveau riche.