Alec Baldwin credited as playing...
Frank Teagarten
- Carl Mancini: Frank, as a new neighbor, I'm "legally required" to tell you that I'm a registered sex offender.
- Frank Teagarten: Come again?
- Carl Mancini: Wow. Really?
- Frank Teagarten: Do you really need all these panties and stuff, honey?
- Nancy Teagarten: No. I'm going to hide them... I don't want him *going* all over my lingerie.
- Frank Teagarten: The word is "cuming", honey. Cuming.
- Frank Teagarten: Carl, part of me would like to punch you in the face right now, but another part of me would like to kick you in the balls. Which do you prefer?
- Carl Mancini: Thanks. I normally don't get a choice.
- Carl Mancini: Why are we going through the backyard?
- Frank Teagarten: Why is the sky blue?
- Carl Mancini: Because sunlight is refracted by dust particles in the air and blue is the dominant color on the spectrum?
- Nancy Teagarten: Did you learn that *in* the 5th Grade or *from* a 5th grader?
- Carl Mancini: Ouch.
- Nancy Teagarten: Absolutely no fucking way! This is where we draw the line.
- Frank Teagarten: I don't know what's on the other side of that line. But, I do know what's on this side of that line. And it is bleak.
- Frank Teagarten: Wow. Man plans and God laughs. Right? I mean, everybody's got a plan, until you get punched in the face. Jesus.
- Frank Teagarten: They caught the culprit. Everything's back in the house. It's all good in the hood.
- Nigel: Did you just call me Nig?
- Frank Teagarten: It's possible. I knew a guy named Adolph Dick once. That's a tough name, isn't it.