Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, no one does a better job pretending to be a person than I do. Siri comes close, but I know more jokes.
- Raj Koothrappali: How could you send her away?
- Sheldon Cooper: She was late. And she found atomic spectroscopy boring. I wouldn't coitus her with *your* genitals.
- Raj Koothrappali: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
- Sheldon Cooper: By that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy. Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.
- Sheldon: That's it! The Sheldon Cooper Girlfriend Challenge is officially alive.
- Howard Wolowitz: Congratulations!
- Raj Koothrappali: This is exciting.
- Sheldon: Right now, somewhere, a woman is dividing the atomic weight of the best noble gas by the number of colors in the oldest national flag still in use!
- Howard Wolowitz: Then using that number as the average speed to calculate the travel time from Mordor to the Shire!
- Sheldon: And taking her first step towards a lifetime of laughter, love and, best of all, rules.
- Sheldon Cooper: That's a lot of carbohydrates for a man on the prowl. But you eat it; you're married; it doesn't matter what you look like.
- Penny Hofstadter: Don't take advice from a man who threw his shoe at a crow.
- Sheldon Cooper: I think of my time with Amy as a stick of Fruit Stripe gum. Sweet and enjoyable at first, but ultimately a flavorless lump of sadness.
- Raj Koothrappali: You're not wrong about Fruit Stripe. I- I was always a Hubba Bubba man.
- Howard Wolowitz: Hubba Bubba over Double Bubble? You're crazy.
- Raj Koothrappali: Hey, the jaw wants what it wants!