Amityville: No Escape

I'm 15 minutes in and already I'm looking at my phone wishing I didn't commit to watching this. Personally I've removed the word ugly from my vocabulary, but these people are hideously unattractive. They all look like meth heads with the ugliest tattoos and awful hair. And that scene with the girl being topless in the pool and her brother is also in the pool with her and she's like "it's like when we were kids." No. No it isn't! Disgusting just like her awkward nips. The woman in the video is forcing her acting, which is worse than a kindergarten play. All thumbs down!

And we're back to the dreadful Amityville films, I thought it was too good to be true.

Here we have another found footage effort, this one however tries to distance itself from the others by telling two separate but connected story lines. A girl living in the Amityville house and a group of students going into the woods to do a study on fear.

The plot is thinner than Patrick Stewarts hairline, it's all poorly made and alike many movies of its ilk nothing actually happens.

Unforgivable boredom.

The Good:

Cast aren't terrible

The Bad:

Pretty much every square inch of the film

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Nobody but me noticed that girl is clearly a vampire

If gunfire reminds a girl of her partner she should reconsider her choice

This film essentially involves two different scenarios recorded on tape by both parties. The first one involves a young woman named "Lina" (Julia Gomez) who purchased the haunted house in Amityville in 1997 just after her husband was sent overseas on military duty. So, to keep him up to date on everything, she records all of her thoughts and feelings on a camcorder to share with him later. She is completely unaware that the house is haunted. The other recording is done by a small group of college students who go on a field trip near the Amityville house for research purposes involving the nature of fear. Although they are familiar with the legends pertaining to the haunted house, their leader "George Wells" (Josh Miller) deliberately uses these stories to further his agenda. But what none of these people realize, however, is the actual evil they will eventually come into contact with in the very near future. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this extremely low-budget production contained the same flaws typically associated with "found footage" videos of this type--shaky camera work, bad acting and a rather basic script. In short, it was both boring and amateurish, and I have rated it accordingly.

Amityville No Escape' is another pointless found footage flick that centers around a group of so-called college students going in to the deep woods to understand fear.. Yes it's even dumber than it sounds.. Anyways..

There is also a subplot involving a video tape from 1997 that has some lonely ass house wife yapping at the camera.. Apparently her husband is in the military and on deployment..

This has to be one of the most boring movies I have ever watched, literally almost nothing happens in this film.. The story supposedly takes place in Amityville, NY - and I think the video house wife lives in the old Amityville horror house? But I may not have been paying close enough attention.. I'm just not sure..

Now to be fair I honestly can't say the acting was horrible, I think the whole cast was doing the best they could with what they had to work with..

Positives: A couple of scenes worth of boob shots.. So So acting.

Negatives: Terrible incoherent story.. Shitty shaky cam..

Do yourself a favor and avoid this stinker.. Grade: D

Horror Town USA

Just because you have a video camera doesn't mean you should make a movie. There was literally nothing scary in this movie except the hideous beard of the cameraman. Also....nothing to do with the Amityville Horror original movie.....used to rope people in...count me as one of them.