Simon Helberg credited as playing...
Howard Wolowitz
- Howard Wolowitz: What's to think about? We have an invention and want to move forward.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Howie, you are about to form a legal partnership with Sheldon Cooper.
- Howard Wolowitz: All right, if you are going to calmly make excellent points, then I don't know if I want to talk to you. OK, I get it, and it's sweet that you're worried about me, but I can take care of myself.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: I'm not worried about you; I'm worried about me. I don't want to go through this pregnancy listening to you complain about Sheldon driving you crazy more than you already do.
- Howard Wolowitz: Here we go with the ironclad logic again.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: You've had to work with him before; it hasn't gone well. Why is this time going to be any different?
- Howard Wolowitz: Is the fetus helping you? cause that's cheating.
- Howard Wolowitz: This contract looks good to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sure; we could write something up.
- Sheldon Cooper: But which one of us should be the party who...
- Howard Wolowitz: You can do it, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: So stipulated!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.
- [first lines]
- Howard Wolowitz: OK, I gotta ask: why are you wearing a bow tie?
- Sheldon Cooper: I've never applied for a patent before; I wanted to make a good impression.
- Howard Wolowitz: The impression that your first name is Pee-wee?
- [Leonard laughs]
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, well, you're an engineer. End of joke. Burn.
- Tim: Come on in, fellows.
- Howard Wolowitz: See, he's not wearing a tie.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, he's a patent attorney; maybe his tie is pending.
- Howard Wolowitz: Can you imagine if we make money with this?
- Leonard Hofstadter: If we do, I am splurging on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.
- Howard Wolowitz: That old sad story: a guy gets a little money, it goes straight up his nose.
- Howard Wolowitz: Article 3. As it pertains to this project, Dr. Sheldon Cooper promises to abstain from all insulting or disrespectful language directed toward Howard Wolowitz, including but not limited to mockery of engineering, his height, his hair, his wardrobe, and his insane belief that the Ghost Rider movie was "not that bad".