Johnny Galecki credited as playing...
Leonard Hofstadter
- Penny Hofstadter: Hang on, what if Sheldon had no choice but to be respectful?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Is there a switch on the back of his neck we don't know about?
- Howard Wolowitz: This contract looks good to me.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'll say it looks good. It's in my proprietary font, Shelvetica.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I want to say something obnoxious, but it is easy on the eyes.
- Sheldon Cooper: Sounds like a, uh, contract might be in order.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sure; we could write something up.
- Sheldon Cooper: But which one of us should be the party who...
- Howard Wolowitz: You can do it, Sheldon.
- Sheldon Cooper: So stipulated!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Once I found a stash of contracts under his bed. It was weird.
- [first lines]
- Howard Wolowitz: OK, I gotta ask: why are you wearing a bow tie?
- Sheldon Cooper: I've never applied for a patent before; I wanted to make a good impression.
- Howard Wolowitz: The impression that your first name is Pee-wee?
- [Leonard laughs]
- Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, well, you're an engineer. End of joke. Burn.
- Tim: Come on in, fellows.
- Howard Wolowitz: See, he's not wearing a tie.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, he's a patent attorney; maybe his tie is pending.
- Howard Wolowitz: Can you imagine if we make money with this?
- Leonard Hofstadter: If we do, I am splurging on the best sinus irrigator money can buy.
- Howard Wolowitz: That old sad story: a guy gets a little money, it goes straight up his nose.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hey, Leonard.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What?
- Sheldon Cooper: If she doesn't think that we should apply for this patent, she's being "patently" absurd.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Good one.
- Sheldon Cooper: OK, you got it. See, I was afraid it was a thinker.