Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- [first lines]
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, hey, if you guys are free this weekend, I won a night of wine-tasting from work.
- Leonard Hofstadter: That sounds fun.
- Penny Hofstadter: Mm-hm.
- Leonard Hofstadter: How come scientists don't win free stuff like sales people do?
- Howard Wolowitz: 'Cause we're not in it for the stuff; we're in it for the groupies.
- Sheldon Cooper: Personally, I find the notion of external rewards demeaning; I pursue science for the intrinsic joy of discovery.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: But you always say that you want to win a Nobel prize.
- Sheldon Cooper: I also say don't contradict me in front of my friends, and that you don't remember.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Hey, are you still hanging out with Bernadette tonight?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes, and we're going to prove that we don't need alcohol to enjoy ourselves.
- Penny Hofstadter: Oh, good for you.
- Sheldon Cooper: Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi, soft cheese, processed meat and jacuzzis, which can all be harmful to an unborn baby.
- Penny Hofstadter: No Reddy-baked ham in a hot tub; got it.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, and no bubble baths either; they can increase the chance of a urinary trach infection.
- Sheldon Cooper: OK, have fun.
- Leonard Hofstadter: On, and no swordfish, king mackerel, shark or tilefish as they're all high in mercury.
- Sheldon Cooper: We're leaving now.
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, and no contact with guinea pigs or hamsters or their droppings. No-no cat-litter boxes. No paint fumes.
- Penny Hofstadter: OK, we're leaving, lovey, bye!
- [Leonard and Penny leave the apartment]
- Sheldon Cooper: Boy, do I love restrictions.
- Sheldon Cooper: When I was five I ingested a Z-gauge locomotive. I spent the next three days saying "I think I can pass it; I think I can pass it!"
- [last lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, friends are like toilet paper. It's good to have extras under the sink.