Christopher Plummer credited as playing...
- Leonard: [after getting punched by Jack] Jesus Christ, Jack! I thought you were a Buddhist.
- Jack: Oh, I am. But you bring out the right-wing Christian in me.
- Laura: [picking up yet another animal] She belongs to me. They all do. Can't you tell? She knew I would be here. She knew. She knew. They all know. All of them. They all know...
- Jack: Jesus. You're like the Pied Piper of mange.
- Henry: My drawings freak people out.
- Jack: Yeah, well, all good art does that.
- Laura: 80% of the time, I feel like total shit.
- Jack: Well, 20% is a pretty good amount of time to feel decent.
- Jack: I bet you can hardly believe, considering your mother can barely keep a piece of hair alive, that your grandfather's got a green thumb.
- Henry: I'm not really into gardening.
- Jack: Well, maybe what's in the shed will change your mind.
- Henry: I'm too old to molest, you know.
- Jack: Oh, Jesus Christ. You couldn't get molested with a bow in your hair. Even pedophiles know to steer clear of your bad vibes.
- Jojo: Dad, what does it take to impress you? I mean, do I have to save a life or cure cancer? You want me to stop a live rape?
- Jack: Yeah, that would impress me.
- Jojo: Well, I'm not a superhero, Dad, okay? I'm just a regular 35-year-old woman. I'm going to my room...
- Jack: [to a dog] You're just like all the other girls. Huh? Your heart's too big.
