Dam Sharks

I wish that I could say watch it and really mean it. The most redeeming part of this movie is Neka Zang, dang she's hot. I could fill the rest of this review talking about how sexy she is and not actually tell you anything about this movie. However, if you feel brave and want to venture forth, then do so with the warning of you may not be entertained at all.

Dam Shark is a catastrophic attempt at a creature feature that collapses under its own absurd premise and amateur execution. The movie opens with the shark inexplicably appearing in a dam, and from that point forward, the plot shows no coherent logic or structure. Characters make illogical decisions, including repeatedly approaching the water despite repeated shark attacks, which defies common sense and destroys any potential suspense. The narrative is fragmented, with random subplots that never develop or resolve, leaving the story feeling like a patchwork of ideas rather than a cohesive film.

The screenplay is poorly written, with dialogue that is wooden, unnatural, and devoid of tension. Key exposition is clumsily delivered, often through forced lines that feel like they were written without consideration for character motivation or audience engagement. Moments that should be tense or thrilling instead feel ridiculous because the writing fails to build stakes or urgency, and the shark's presence never generates genuine fear.

Casting is equally problematic. The actors are largely unknown, and most deliver performances that feel flat or overacted. There is no chemistry between characters, which undermines any attempt at building emotional investment. Scenes meant to elicit concern for the victims fall flat, and even minor interactions feel stilted and unconvincing.

The direction is sloppy and uninspired. Camera work is inconsistent, with excessive zooms and awkward angles that fail to highlight action or tension. The shark effects are laughably poor, often appearing obviously fake or poorly integrated into the environment, which turns what should be moments of horror into moments of unintended comedy. Pacing is uneven, alternating between long stretches of boredom and rushed sequences that fail to land.

Editing further compounds these issues, with abrupt cuts that disrupt the flow and make scenes confusing to follow. Suspense is nonexistent, as sequences meant to build fear or urgency are poorly timed and lack coherence. The score does little to enhance tension, leaving the film feeling empty and hollow.

Ultimately, Dam Shark is an unmitigated failure across all cinematic fronts. From its ridiculous premise and poorly executed screenplay to weak performances, bad direction, and shoddy effects, the film cannot entertain, thrill, or even amuse consistently. It serves as a textbook example of low-budget filmmaking gone wrong, leaving viewers frustrated, bewildered, and exhausted by the experience.

Okay, well you just know that chances are 95% likely that a movie such as this 2016 movie titled "Dam Sharks" is going to be just another ultra low budget shark movie with horrible special effects.

And guess what? ... It was exactly that.

I mean, bull sharks that build dams out of wood and human remains? Are you kidding me? Who comes up with this kind of stuff? I suppose James Kondelik and Jon Kondelik did. And no, this wasn't even so goofy and campy that it was fun to watch. No, it was just cringeworthy.

The sharks were poorly made and didn't come off as being realistic at all. No thumbs up for the CGI team for their accomplishment on "Dam Sharks". And having creatures that are realistic and look proper is a definite must for a movie such as this. And having this poorly animated CGI sharks just sank the movie to the bottom.

Well, the CGI and the laughable storyline. The plot and script in "Dam Shark" was so generic and mundane that even a blind person could see what was happening next. It was just atrociously predictable and way too generic.

The only performer in the movie that was familiar to me was Jason London. And I thought that the movie might actually have a chance of being watchable when he was in it. But no...

If you enjoy shark movies, you must take heed and stay well clear of "Dam Sharks". There are far, far better shark movies available out there in an abundance.

My rating of "Dam Sharks" is a generous three out of ten stars, mostly because this was a shark movie after all. A bad, bad shark movie though.

Hahaha, I love dodgy shark movies! The opening 90 seconds tells you just how much ridiculousness you're in for. Maybe I was a tad traumatised by seeing movies like Jaws, The Swarm, The Pack and Piranha when I was between 5 and 7 years old (!!) ... but I enjoy this kind of dodginess. Having said all that, actual real-life bull sharks used to come far enough up the river where we lived in Western Australia that people with dogs were advised not to let them swim there. Thankfully we only saw dolphins.

Come on, you know what you are getting in this. Fun movie, good quality kills and hot babes, oh and killer dam sharks, need I say more?