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Sarah Silverman: Vanellope

Ralph Breaks the Internet

Sarah Silverman credited as playing...

Vanellope

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Quotes27

  • [Vanellope glitches into the Disney Princesses' dressing room. When the girls see her, they defend themselves, including Mulan taking out her sword, Belle holding up her book, Ariel pointing her dinglehopper, Merida pointing her bow and arrow, Pocahontas holding up her cane, Rapunzel holding her frying pan, Elsa holding out her hands, Anna putting her fists up, Jasmine wielding the magic lamp, and Cinderella taking her glass slipper, breaking it and wielding it like a shiv]
  • Vanellope: Whoa, whoa, ladies, I can explain! See, um... I'm a princess, too!
  • Anna: Wait. What?
  • Vanellope: Yeah! Princess Vanellope von Schweetz of the, uh... Sugar Rush von Schweetzes? I'm sure you've heard of us. It'd be embarrassing for you if you haven't.
  • [laughs nervously]
  • Pocahontas: What kind of a princess are you?
  • Vanellope: What kind?
  • Rapunzel: Do you have magic hair?
  • Vanellope: No.
  • Elsa: Magic hands?
  • Vanellope: No.
  • Cinderella: Do animals talk to you?
  • Vanellope: No.
  • Snow White: Were you poisoned?
  • Vanellope: No!
  • Tiana, Aurora: Cursed?
  • Vanellope: No!
  • Rapunzel, Belle: Kidnapped or enslaved?
  • Vanellope: No! Are you guys okay? Should I call the police?
  • [Ralph bursts into the little girl's iPad game called Pancake Milkshake, pushing past Vanellope]
  • Ralph: Ooh! Ooh, ooh! I wanna try I wanna try, I wanna try! My turn, my turn.
  • [He starts feeding the bunny and the kitty pancakes and milkshakes]
  • Ralph: Pancake... milkshake... milkshake... milkshake... pancake... pancake... milkshake... milkshake... I'm starting to understand why people like this game! Very zen.
  • [the bunny burps. Vanellope bursts through the double-sided doors with more pancakes]
  • Vanellope: Hey, everybody! Look what I found! More pancakes!
  • Ralph: Sweet! Let's speed it up!
  • [He starts feeding the bunny more pancakes]
  • Ralph: Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake! Pancake, pancake! Pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake, pancake! Eat, little bunny! Eat, eat, eat!
  • [Vanellope starts to look worried]
  • Vanellope: Uh, Ralph, you might wanna try feeding the kitty for a little while.
  • [the bunny is now horrifically obese and is stuffing another plate of pancakes into its mouth]
  • Ralph: No, the kitty gets the milkshake! The bunny gets the pancake!
  • [the bunny forces another plate of pancakes in its mouth. We only see the little girl's reaction as it explodes. She screams]
  • Tiana: Well, I guess it's back to the gowns girls
  • Aurora: It was lovely to meet you Vanellope.
  • Belle: And best of luck finding your song.
  • Merida: [rapidly, almost angrily, and in a thick Scottish accent] Arr! Lang may yer lum reek, and may a moose ne'er leave your girnal with a tear drop in his eye! Haste ye back, me lassie!
  • Vanellope: Uh huh...
  • [whispering to Tiana]
  • Vanellope: What did she just say?
  • Tiana: [to Vanellope] We don't know.
  • Moana: [to Vanellope] We can't understand her.
  • Anna: She's from the other studio
  • Vanellope: Ah.
  • Ariel: Then I have to assume you made a deal with an underwater sea witch, where she took your voice in exchange for a pair of human legs!
  • Vanellope: No! Good Lord, who would do that?
  • Snow White: Have you ever had true love's kiss?
  • Vanellope: Eww, barf!
  • Jasmine: Do you have daddy issues?
  • Vanellope: I don't even have a mom.
  • Ariel, Snow White, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Elsa, Cinderella, Belle, Anna: Neither do we!
  • Rapunzel: And now for the million dollar question: Do people assume all your problems got solved because a big strong man showed up?
  • Vanellope: Yes! What is up with that?
  • Ariel, Jasmine, Pocahontas, Elsa, Cinderella, Belle, Anna, Rapunzel: She *is* a Princess!
  • Snow White: [sings a few notes in delight]
  • [from trailer]
  • Auctioneer: [at an eBay auction] Ladies and gentlemen, the next item up: a black velvet painting of a sorrowful kitten.
  • Ralph: It's like it's looking into my soul.
  • Vanellope: Yeah, that one's really gonna haunt me for a while.
  • [from trailer]
  • Vanellope: We are going to the internet!
  • Ralph: Super exciting! Just one minor thing: what is an "internet"?
  • [from trailer]
  • Vanellope: Aw, come on! Princesses and cartoon characters? Barf!
  • Eeyore: [offended] Hey.
  • [from trailer]
  • KnowsMore: Welcome to the Search Bar. What can I help you find today?
  • Ralph: Umm...
  • KnowsMore: Umbrella? Umbridge? Umami?
  • Ralph: No.
  • KnowsMore: Noah's Ark? No Doubt? Nordstrom Rack?
  • Ralph: Rrrrrr!
  • KnowsMore: Ergonomics? Urban Outfitters? Urkel?
  • Vanellope: [to Ralph] I'm pretty sure he's just trying to guess what you're gonna say.
  • KnowsMore: My AutoFill is a touch aggressive today.
  • Vanellope: Let me try. Take me to a website that's super intense and really nuts.
  • KnowsMore: Oh, I only found one result.
  • [from trailer]
  • Ralph: Shouldn't it be, "Ralph *Wrecks* the Internet"?
  • Vanellope: Yes, since he is Wreck-It Ralph?
  • Yesss: Uh, yeah, but "break the internet", it's like a thing.
  • Ralph: Right, it's just "Wreck the Internet" kinda sounds better, doesn't it?
  • Yesss: You're not wrong.
  • [from trailer]
  • Ralph: Hey, kid, wake up!
  • Vanellope: [screams] Ralph, what is wrong with you?
  • Ralph: Start churnin' butter and put on your church shoes, little sister, cuz we're about to blast off!
  • Vanellope: Ralph, what is it you're trying to say?
  • Ralph: We're going to the internet.
  • Ralph: [from trailer; Ralph is frustrated because of KnowsMore's AutoFill] Looks like no-one put Humpty Dumpty together again. This guy's a little soft-boiled.
  • Vanellope: I'm pretty sure he's just trying to guess what you're gonna say.
  • KnowsMore: Yes. I'm sorry, but my AutoFill's a touch aggressive, today.
  • Vanellope: Let me try.
  • [She clears her throat]
  • Vanellope: Ebay Sugar Rush steering wheel!
  • [She slams the search button. KnowsMore convulses wildly and colours flash. He returns to normal]
  • KnowsMore: Oh. I only found one result for your query!
  • [He shows the webpage for the steering wheel they need being sold on Ebay]
  • KnowsMore: Hmm. Isn't that interesting!
  • Ralph: What? How did you-?
  • Vanellope: Ah, the Internet's very intuitive.
  • [to KnowsMore]
  • Vanellope: Thank you, Mr. KnowsMore!
  • KnowsMore: Well, you're welcome.
  • Vanellope: [singing] O steering wheel, o steering wheel, oh yes I want a steering wheel.
  • Vanellope: [to Ralph] Why would I spend another second with you after what you did?
  • [first lines]
  • Ralph: Okay, my turn, my turn! Um, I got one.
  • Vanellope: Great, but can you make it a little more challenging this time?
  • Ralph: Okay, check this out. I spy with my little eye something yellow and round, and it eats dots.
  • Vanellope: Pfft! Seriously, Ralph?
  • Ralph: Yeah, seriously. You're never gonna get it.
  • Vanellope: Well, obviously it's Pac-Man!
  • Ralph: No! That's not - why is that obvious?
  • Vanellope: Name one other thing in this whole arcade that is yellow and round and eats dots.
  • Ralph: I can name two things: Ms. Pac-Man and Baby Pac-Man. Boom! I accept your apology.
  • Vanellope: Yeah, you're right. Okay, but was it Pac-Man?
  • Ralph: Yeah, you got me.
  • KnowsMore: Either you put all the clones in therapy,- not very realistic,- or the antivirus district is surrounded by a gate made from security software. If Vanellope could somehow lead all of the clones through the gate, they would be deleted all at once; sort of a co-dependent Pied Piper situation.
  • Vanellope: We know a pied piper!
  • Ralph: We do?
  • Vanellope: Yesss!
  • Ralph: Who?
  • Vanellope: Yesss!
  • Ralph: But who is it?
  • [Vanellope hangs her head downward, and then Ralph finally gets it a moment later]
  • Ralph: Oh, you mean Yesss!
  • [from trailer]
  • First Order Stormtrooper: [having spotted Vanellope] You're coming with us, kid.
  • [Vanellope flees from them and accidentally glitches into the Disney Princesses chamber. They gasp when they notice her]
  • Vanellope: Hi.
  • [from trailer; Ralph and Vanellope have come to see Yesss, because of Ralph's sudden Internet popularity]
  • Yesss: Shank is for real cool.
  • Vanellope: Right?
  • Ralph: Pfff! She is not! I'm the cool one, gettin' all the hearts.
  • [from trailer; Vanellope sees how popups work]
  • Vanellope: That looks so fun! Can I be a popup? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?
  • Yesss: Yes.
  • Vanellope: Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I?
  • Yesss: [annoyed] You're perfect!
  • [She gives Vanellope a popup board]
  • Yesss: Here!
  • [Vanellope happily walks off with the board]
  • Vanellope: Thank you.
  • [after Vanellope angrily throws the you're my hero medal she made for him down into the older site abyss]
  • Ralph: Vanellope, where are you going?
  • Vanellope: [as she storms off] Wherever you're not!
  • Ralph: Listen, I can expla...
  • Vanellope: [angrily turns to Ralph] No! You will not follow me!
  • Ralph: Vanellope, please!
  • Vanellope: A friend would never do what you did! Never! So, you leave me alone!
  • [she storms off]
  • Ralph: Vanellope, no, no, no! Please! Please! What will I do?
  • [from a deleted scene: Q*bert comes back from the Internet, disturbed by something and saying something to himself over and over]
  • Vanellope: What's he saying, Felix?
  • Felix: He just keeps sayin' the word "Everything."

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