Betty Gilpin credited as playing...
Debbie Eagan
- Ruth: Did I tell you the casting director offered me porn?
- Debbie: Uh... you? The girl who changes under her shirt?
- Ruth: I don't do that anymore.
- Debbie: [puts on pants] Well... oh, Jesus. Obviously, you shouldn't do porn. Unless it's, like, porn Shakespeare. Since you're such a nerd, you'd probably enjoy that.
- Ruth: You know, I miss you making fun of me.
- Debbie: Why don't you come visit me in Pasadena, then?
- Ruth: Ugh. It's so far away.
- Debbie: Come on. I've called you like a million times to hang out. What is going on?
- [pause]
- Debbie: Ruth, are you okay?
- Ruth: It's just... little stupid stuff. You know, like, don't know if I can pay my gas bill. I've got $83 in my bank account, and I'm waitressing all weekend. And I've eaten Cinnamon Toast Crunch for my last... six meals. But hey, you know, I'm gonna do porn. So, things are looking up. Heh.
- [Ruth stands up to put on her pants]
- Debbie: Can I tell you something that I realized recently?
- Ruth: What?
- Debbie: When I first got 'Paradise Cove', I was... God, so excited. And then they put me in the year-long coma. And I would lie in that hospital bed, just feeling powerless. And then season three, I graduate to a wheelchair with like, a sad blanket...
- Ruth: I'm sorry. How is this supposed to help me?
- Debbie: I'm getting there. Everything changed when Mark was like, 'Deb, don't be unhappy. Let's have a baby. I'll support us.' And I was like, 'Yes. Yeah. Why am I working?' Getting pregnant and written off that show, best decision I ever made.
- [pause]
- Ruth: I choose work.
- Debbie: But you're not working. I... Don't you wanna be happy and have a family?
- Ruth: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Uh... I think I need to get a boyfriend first. Isn't that how it works?
- [giggles]
- Debbie: [gets up and grabs bag] Okay.
- Ruth: No, no, no, no, no, no, no! 'Witness' is playing at the Dome!
- Debbie: I can't leave my mom with Randy all day. She'll be feeding him Funyuns and Fresca and government conspiracies.
- Ruth: Go. Go, I get it.
- [hugs Debbie]
- [Debbie storms into the gym, carrying Randy with her]
- Debbie: You fucking bitch! Oh, you fucking cunt! I should fucking kill you!
- Ruth: Debbie, what are you doing here?
- Debbie: Don't play dumb, homewrecker! Husband-fucker!
- Ruth: Hold on, hold on, hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
- Debbie: Did you sleep with Mark?
- Ruth: Don't make me answer that.
- [Tammé approaches Debbie]
- Tammé Dawson: Do you want me to take him for you?
- Debbie: Yes. Thank you.
- [Debbie hands Randy to Tammé before looking back at Ruth]
- Debbie: I wanna hear you say it.
- Ruth: Uh...
- [nods]
- Debbie: [slides into the ring] What the fuck kind of friend are you?
- Ruth: I don't love him!
- Debbie: What? Oh my God, of course you don't love him! You don't love anyone!
- Ruth: I know! I fucked up! You think I don't know that?
- [Debbie corners Ruth]
- Debbie: How long? How long were you two... What? While I was pregnant?
- Ruth: No! God, no! It was one time!
- Debbie: Oh, what? What about the other night? That doesn't fucking count? Mark told me the whole fucking thing!
- Ruth: I know. I told you, I fucked up!
- [Debbie slaps Ruth]
- [Debbie slaps Ruth, to the shock of the other ladies]
- Debbie: I don't know... I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
- Ruth: It just happened.
- Debbie: Haven't you learned anything from that sad fucking scene study class? Things don't just happen. People make choices. They want things, and then they go for them.
- Ruth: Can we go somewhere and talk about this?
- Debbie: I don't wanna fucking talk to you. I wanna... I wanna kick you ass. And then I never want to see you again.
- [Debbie chases after Ruth]
- Ruth: No!
- Debbie: Come on!
- Ruth: I'm not gonna fight you!
- Reggie Walsh: Fight her! Do it!
- Debbie: Come on!
- Ruth: Debbie!
- [Debbie grabs Ruth from behind, but Ruth hits her in the face with her elbow]
- Ruth: I'm sorry.
- [Debbie chases after Ruth again]
- Debbie: Fucker!
- Arthie Premkumar: Is this real?
- Melanie Rosen: Who the fuck cares?
- [as Sam watches Ruth and Debbie fight, he envisions them in an actual GLOW match. Salty snaps Sam out of it]
- Salty 'The Sack' Johnson: Sam! Sam! Should we call it?
- Sam Sylvia: Yeah. Call it.
- [Salty slides in the ring to count the pinfall, as Debbie has Ruth pinned to the mat and Ruth helplessly looks at Sam]
- Salty 'The Sack' Johnson: One! Two! Three!