Plot

Johnny welcomes audience members on a charity bike ride from Alaska. Playwright Neil Simon ("Brighton Beach Memoirs"); sportscaster Joe Garagiola discusses the spitball; Bill Maher performs stand-up.

There is no typical comedy segment after the monologue. Johnny chats a bit with Ed about doing things tourists do in California, mentioning that he had taken his kids to the opening of Disneyland over 25 years earlier - which he regretted due to the crowds. He then introduces members of the audience who have biked from Alaska (4,400 miles in 80 days) for charity. Neil Simon first talks about when he was on vacation with Johnny and had a slipped disk that immobilized him on the floor of his hotel room for three days; he recalls having to be carried from the hallway into his room, and the problems dealing with room service. He then talks about opening his new play "Brighton Beach Memoirs" in Los Angeles due to the economics of taking a play on the road. At Johnny's suggestion, he tells a story about how an unnamed actor couldn't handle a line change, botching the final scene of a play. They then trade similar stories of script changes and prop errors that caused problems. Bill Maher makes his first appearance on "The Tonight Show" doing a stand-up comedy routine. The jokes are primarily about the effect of politics and religion on his upbringing. Johnny first asks Joe Garagiola about baseball pitcher Gaylord Perry's suspension for using a foreign substance on the ball. Garagiola, a former catcher, doesn't see this as a big deal, and gives several examples of how players cheat to get an advantage. He shows a clip of his interview with Perry, who demonstrated many spots on the uniform where something could be hidden. Johnny asks Garagiola his most embarrassing moment; he replies by telling how he once went up to the plate to hit without a bat.—lenab9011

Neil Simon discusses his new play opening in Los Angeles, and tells funny stories of play production mishaps; Bill Maher makes his Tonight Show debut; Joe Garagiola shows a clip of his interview with Gaylord Perry, who shows all the places he hid petroleum jelly for his spitball.—calcaylor