Roger Ebert credited as playing...
Self - Host
- Joel Siegel: [referring to "Lake Placid"] I was very lucky with this film. I took your advice, I missed it.
- Roger Ebert: Don't go to see it! Choose another picture!
- Joel Siegel: I will not. To me, "Wild Wild West" isn't just a movie gone bad.
- [footage from the film is being shown]
- Joel Siegel: "Wild Wild West" represents the very worst about the Hollywood system. They can create huge and amazing special effects, but they can't solve the simplest problem in filmmaking: How to tell a story. Why spend millions to reshoot the ending when the beginning stinks too? And why make Kevin Kline's character a master of disguise? This was not only before movies and TV. This takes place before newspapers could take photographs. A master of disguise from who? Nobody knows what he looked like!
- Roger Ebert: [describing Baby Geniuses] And now, we arrive at the top, or maybe it's the bottom category, our individual choices for The Worst Single Film of 1999, and my choice is a singularly unpleasant comedy named "Baby Geniuses". When the babies talk, special effects make their little mouths seem to move kind of like those talking photographs on "Conan O'Brien" that aren't quite lined up with the words. The effect on me was goosebumps crossed with the "fingernails on a blackboard" effect.
- Joel Siegel: This is a terrible movie.
- Roger Ebert: It is a very bad movie.
- Joel Siegel: It's a truly terrible movie. Who comes up with the idea of "Let's destroy infancy! Let's destroy young children"?
- Roger Ebert: Who wants to see a baby Karate champion?
- Joel Siegel: And who gives somebody 15 20 million dollars to make it?
- Roger Ebert: Who indeed?
- Joel Siegel: [describing My Favorite Martian] I don't understand why Hollywood insists on spending tens of millions of dollars to make a film version of a TV series, that if it were a TV series this year, would be cancelled!
- Roger Ebert: Maybe the test they should use is "Was this show any good in the first place?
- Joel Siegel: A-ha!
- Roger Ebert: For example, "The Flintstones" kinda translated a little bit better than this. Now, my thumb was down on this. I did like Christopher Lloyd, I did like some f the special effects, so I didn't hate it as much as you did, but I think you've asked an excellent question, and I think the answer is "Because these shows are brand names." People have heard of the show so, therefore, they've heard of the movie, and you don't need to spend as much money to establish it, maybe that's the reason.
- Joel Siegel: But we have to suffer through them.
- Roger Ebert: Yes, we do.
- Joel Siegel: [describing 'Pokemon: the Movie' as the worst] The first movie I ever saw was 'Pinocchio'. A kid's first movie should be that magical. And Roger, I feel sorry for kids whose first film was 'Pokemon'. Not special, just venal. Not magic, just there to make money.
- Roger Ebert: You know, you're right. It's just action... and violence... and colors... and noise. It's not a story. It has nothing to say to the imagination, nothing to say to the heart, and nothing to say to the mind. We're taking our kids and giving them basically 'entertainment junk food'.