Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're awful quiet. Everything OK?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm concerned about Amy. She's acting a bit odd lately.
- Howard Wolowitz: Just out of curiosity, what registers as odd to you?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Hi.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hello.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: What are you doing?
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm just contemplating Buridan's donkey.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I understand. I'll leave you be.
- Sheldon Cooper: What, you're familiar with the reference?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Of course. Jean Buridan proposed a philosophical thesis stating that a hungry donkey placed between two equidistant bales of hay would be paralyzed by indecision and would starve to death.
- Sheldon Cooper: Exactly.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, I wouldn't want you to starve to death, so here's an eggplant.
- Sheldon Cooper: Thank you.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: You know, some people believe that Buridan was plagiarizing Aristotle.
- Sheldon Cooper: Really?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Although, in Aristotle's example, he proposed an equally hungry and thirsty man caught between food and drink.
- Sheldon Cooper: Huh. Yeah, I wonder if that's related to the 12th century Persian philosopher, Al-Ghazali and his story of a man caught between two dates.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Are you suggesting Al-Ghazali was Aristotelian? 'Cause if anything, he was anti-Aristotelian.
- Sheldon Cooper: Al-Ghazali was anti-Aristotelian? Boy, you think you know a guy.
- Sheldon Cooper: If complaining were an Olympic sport, I would complain about what a stupid sport it is and bring home the gold.
- Sheldon Cooper: This is our friend Penny's place. You may remember her from our episode "Flags: And the People Who Don't Understand Them".
- Leonard Hofstadter: She took my Where's Waldo!
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, no, no, he's over there.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Oh yeah, there he is.
- Sheldon Cooper: I get it, everyone wants to spend more time with me. I'm a man made of sugar in a world of ants.
- Howard Wolowitz: [about Sheldon's dream] Okay, the last question: The chaps he was wearing, assless?
- Sheldon Cooper: Can we just focus on the decision I'm facing?
- Raj Koothrappali: We can. but just for the record, all chaps are assless.
- Sheldon Cooper: Gentlemen, please! This is a significant decision. Do Amy and I continue living together, or do I move back in with Leonard?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Over my assless chaps you will.
- Howard Wolowitz: This isn't complicated. Do you love Amy?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- Raj Koothrappali: Do you like living with her?
- Sheldon Cooper: Yes.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Do you know what you need to do now?
- Sheldon Cooper: Apparently figure it out on my own, 'cause you guys are no help at all.
- [first lines]
- Sheldon Cooper: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
- Amy Farrah Fowler: And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
- Sheldon Cooper: And welcome to the first on location episode of "Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun with Flags".
- Sheldon Cooper: I suppose we could find a whole new place. And technically we don't even have to stay in Pasadena. We could move to Altadena. Or a place that doesn't even end in 'dena'.
- Sheldon Cooper: Your Klingon word of the day calender's gone.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'd say dammit in Klingon, but that wasn't until next month.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's Qu'vatlh.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Qu'vatlh!
- Howard Wolowitz: [to Penny, about Sheldon] You know, if he moves across the hall for good, Leonard could keep the stuff you don't like in Sheldon's old room. Solves everything.
- Penny Hofstadter: That's a great idea!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Ooh! Maybe I could turn it into a gaming den.
- Raj Koothrappali: That would be amazing.
- Sheldon Cooper: [stutters] Wha-Wha... Excuse me, that's my room.
- Leonard Hofstadter: But you won't be living here.
- Sheldon Cooper: But that's my room.
- Leonard Hofstadter: You won't be living here.
- Sheldon Cooper: But that's my room.
- Leonard Hofstadter: [to everyone] You guys might want to start eating.
- [to Sheldon]
- Leonard Hofstadter: You won't be living here.
- Penny Hofstadter: Sweetie, once you stop paying rent, none of this is really yours.
- Sheldon Cooper: But that's my room.
- Howard Wolowitz, Penny Hofstadter, Leonard Hofstadter, Raj Koothrappali, Amy Farrah Fowler: BUT YOU WON'T BE LIVING HERE!