Britt Baron credited as playing...
Justine Biagi
- Melanie Rosen: And then I said, 'Oh God, the Baby!' You know, 'What's happening to the baby?' And then, you know, I squirted ketchup out of my vagina.
- Sam Sylvia: That was terrible. I, I didn't buy a single second of that. But, let's not throw out the baby with the bathwater. Oh, sorry, maybe it was a wrong metaphor. Sorry. I think there's something here. Look, I know you were just being an asshole, but if this were a real scene, there would be context, there'd be circumstances, there'd be characters, right? Legacy?
- Carmen Wade: Um...
- Sam Sylvia: Al right. Let's get inside this thing. What happened? The miscarriage, was it an accident? Was it, was it bad sushi?
- Justine Biagi: She was kicked in the stomach by her Guatemalan swim coach who was jealous she lost her virginity to the captain of the diving team.
- Sam Sylvia: Wow. Good. Good. Kick in the stomach. I like that. Swim coach, I don't know. We can lose him. We need a better assailant. What animal would kick a pregnant woman in the belly? What kind of person would ruin the life of a gorgeous, successful, pregnant woman? What kind of homewrecker would do that?
- [Ruth tries to hide in the crowd]
- Sam Sylvia: Ruth! This doesn't seem like too much of a stretch for you. Why don't you come in the ring? Join us.
- Ruth Wilder: I want to, but I'm really not feeling well.
- Sam Sylvia: You know, Gene Kelly had the flu when he did the title number of Singin' in the Rain.
- Ruth Wilder: It's true, he did.
- [Ruth gets up and approaches the ring]
- Sam Sylvia: Look at this asshole. She doesn't care about anyone but herself. She's gonna destroy lives. Even tiny lives that haven't started yet. You're a horrible person, and you don't deserve to live.
- Ruth Wilder: I think I deserve to live.
- Sam Sylvia: Hey, Uta Hagen. All right, take some fucking direction for a minute. All right, is that too much to ask? It's not about you. I'm trying to see if this skit works. Now circle the other one.
- [Ruth and Melrose circle each other]
- Sam Sylvia: Okay, good. Okay, shit-stirrer. Let's work on your side. Because if there's one thing I've learned in my illustrious career, it's that you can't rely on a blood rig to sell a performance. Who are you? What kind of woman were you before you lost everything?
- Melanie Rosen: I feel like I was the kind of...
- Sam Sylvia: Wait, I got it. You're smart. You're ambitious. Talented. But nobody sees that. All they see is the blonde knockout.
- Melanie Rosen: Yeah, but I'm not blonde.
- Sam Sylvia: All right, shut the fuck up.
- Melanie Rosen: Okay.
- Stacey Beswick: I think he's talking about me.
- Dawn Rivecca: [pointing at Debbie] No. They're talking about her.
- Stacey Beswick: That makes sense.