Johnny Galecki credited as playing...
Leonard Hofstadter
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, I know what you did, now change the password back.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, powder me in sugar and call me a doughnut, if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon, I'm warning you, I can play this game, too.
- Sheldon Cooper: If it's like your 3-D chess game, then you're out of your length, width and depth. Amy, get the Neosporin, someone just got burned!
- Leonard Hofstadter: All right, I tried.
- Sheldon Cooper: "All right, I tried." That should be the title of your autobiography. Ooh, a second degree burn.
- [Closes door on Leonard; Amy enters]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I've got the Neosporin. Who got hurt?
- Sheldon Cooper: It's a good thing you're cute.
- Penny Hofstadter: I think I'm gonna go for a run. You want to come?
- Leonard Hofstadter: No, last time that old lady in the park kept screaming, "Watch out, he's right behind you."
- Leonard Hofstadter: You're good at revenge. How do we get him back?
- Penny Hofstadter: Well, my go-to move is usually to sleep with the person's boyfriend, but I feel like I'm already doing that.
- Sheldon Cooper: Leonard, I would like us to stop fighting about our possessions.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'd like that too.
- Sheldon Cooper: In fact, I want you to keep the apartment flag. And I'm not just saying that because it touched your genitals.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Promise?
- Sheldon Cooper: I do. And to show you that there are no hard feelings, I am willing to rub my genitals on it as well.
- Theodore: Well, if we're rubbing genitals on things, that's where I shine.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Finds Leonard wearing the apartment flag while doing the laundry] What do you think you're doing?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Separating my delicates.
- Sheldon Cooper: This is the level you're stooping to?
- Leonard Hofstadter: [Takes off underwear] No, this is the level I am stooping to. I believe that is flag to crotch four. Checkmate! Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy!
- Leonard Hofstadter: Can I help you?
- Theodore: I don't think so, but you're sweet for asking.
- Penny Hofstadter: What are you doing in our apartment?
- Theodore: I'm renting a room from your neighbor. Tall guy, dressed like a little boy.
- Leonard Hofstadter: What do you think you're doing?
- Sheldon Cooper: Since my room is paid up until the end of the month, I can do with it whatever I please, which includes renting it out for a dollar a night.
- Theodore: It' s like the forties again.
- Sheldon Cooper: Anyway, I'll let you be. Oh, he's expecting a newspaper in the morning. Apparently, they're still making them.
- Penny Hofstadter: Sheldon, this is way over the line.
- Sheldon Cooper: It's true, but had I done something under the line, there wouldn't be a man in your kitchen who can't produce a single form of ID.
- Theodore: Oh, I have a receipt from the blood bank. I'm O-negative.
- Sheldon Cooper: And now you know as much about him as I do.
- Penny Hofstadter: [as Leonard adjusts the painting of Penny and Amy] Little lower to the left. Little more.
- Leonard Hofstadter: Good?
- Penny Hofstadter: No, still hideous.
- Leonard Hofstadter: I'm sure at some point, we won't even notice it's there.
- Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, you'd think that, but after a while it starts showing up in your dreams.
- Theodore: I think it brings the room together.