Jonny Lee Miller credited as playing...
Sherlock Holmes
- Sherlock Holmes: Any smoking guns from Miss Brighton's communiques with Big Meat?
- Dr. Joan Watson: You really love saying that, don't you?
- Sherlock Holmes: Yeah, more than I enjoy saying Midwest Cattle Ranchers.
- Dr. Joan Watson: You going out?
- Sherlock Holmes: While you were perusing Miss Brighton's correspondence, I was nosing about Midwest Cattle's computers, and I hit a firewall I couldn't crack, so I asked Everyone for help. Their task du jour is that I deliver five minutes of observational comedy at open mic night at a place called Joke Hole. I'd invite you to come, but my plan is to stink.
- [Sherlock Holmes attends an addiction recovery meeting for the first time in over a month]
- Moderator: If no one else wants to share, we'll wrap up for tonight. Okay, then.
- [Sherlock raises his hand]
- Moderator: Yes. It's nice to see you again. Please.
- Sherlock Holmes: Thanks, uh, ahem. Hello, my name is Sherlock, and I'm an addict.
- Group: Hello, Sherlock.
- Sherlock Holmes: I'm also... I'm the cleverest person in the room. Now, I'm... I'm so much cleverer than my peers that I've come to believe I feel boredom more acutely than everybody else... which leads me to my recent quandary... arrogance. My-my own arrogance, you know, to be precise. And the possibility that that might be an Achilles heel to my recovery.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Okay, so... someone killed a man who Efraim Albright ate.
- Sherlock Holmes: Or woman. The victim could have easily been female.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Fine. The cannibal was equal opportunity.
- Detective Marcus Bell: I'll spend some time over in Missing Persons, but I'm pretty sure they won't be looking for anyone who matches the description of a hot dog.
- Sherlock Holmes: Sausage.
- Detective Marcus Bell: Oh, sausage. That'll clear things up.
- Sherlock Holmes: I've also had an informal peek at your banking records.
- Brendan Farley: 'Informal peek'? What does that mean?
- Sherlock Holmes: It means I have friends who are digitally nimble.
- [Farley looks at Bell]
- Sherlock Holmes: Don't look at him. He had nothing to do with it.