Sam Rockwell credited as playing...
George W. Bush
- [while sitting down to eat at Bush's ranch]
- George W. Bush: Whaddaya say?... I want you to be my VP. I want you, you're ma vice.
- Dick Cheney: Well, George, I, uh... I'm a CEO... of a large company. And I have been Secretary of Defense... and I have been White House Chief of Staff. The Vice Presidency is a mostly symbolic job.
- George W. Bush: Uh-huh.
- Dick Cheney: However, if we came to a, uh... different... understanding... I can handle the more mundane... jobs. Overseeing bureaucracy... military... energy... and, uh... foreign policy.
- [pause]
- George W. Bush: [Finishes cleaning chicken grease off his fingers and stares at Cheney for a few seconds, then points at him] That sounds good!
- George W. Bush: So we gonna do this thing, or what? I mean, is this happening?
- Dick Cheney: We, uh, have found some very interesting candidates. Um, if we could schedule a three-hour window to get through...
- George W. Bush: I meant you. I want you to be my VP. You're the solution to my problems.
- Dick Cheney: No. I'm CEO of a large company. I have been, uh, Secretary of Defense. I have been Chief of Staff. Uh, the vice presidency is mostly a symbolic job.
- George W. Bush: Right, right. I can see how that wouldn't be, uh... enticing to you.
- Dick Cheney: However... the vice presidency is also defined by the president. And if were to come to a, uh... different understanding...
- George W. Bush: Uh-huh. Go on. I'm listenin'.
- Dick Cheney: I sense that, uh, you're a kinetic leader. You make decisions based on instinct.
- George W. Bush: I am. People always said that.
- Dick Cheney: Yeah, yeah. Very different. Very different from, uh, from your father in that regard. Now, maybe I can, uh, handle the more mundane jobs. Overseeing bureaucracy, managing military, uh, energy, uh, foreign policy.
- [pause]
- George W. Bush: That sounds good! Never wanna be the kind of team owner that, uh, pulls the starter in the fourth inning.
- Dick Cheney: Mm-hmm.
- George W. Bush: That's the manager's job.
- Dick Cheney: One more thing. My daughter, Mary.
- George W. Bush: Right. Rove tells me she likes girls.
- Dick Cheney: Now, I know you have to, uh, run against, uh, gay marriage in the South, Midwest, and, uh...
- [clears throat]
- Dick Cheney: But it's my daughter, and that line is drawn in concrete.
- George W. Bush: Don't you say another word. So long as you don't mind us pushing that messaging, we're okay with you sittin' that one out. I think it's important for all the... all the Mary's in the world, you know?
- Dick Cheney: [sighs]
- George W. Bush: No problemo. We got a deal?
- Dick Cheney: Then I believe this could work.
- George W. Bush: Hehehe!
- [claps]
- George W. Bush: Hot damn! Yeah. Well, good. Hey... let's celebrate.
- [they clink their glasses of iced tea]
- George W. Bush: Cheers.
- Dick Cheney: Cheers.
- George W. Bush: [about campaigning] It's a grind, I tell ya. Buses, bologna sandwiches. Hell, I like people, but I mean, ya know, enough's enough.