David McCallum credited as playing...
Donald Mallard
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [entering Autopsy, where Ducky has been working all night on a mummified body] Morning, Duck.
- Donald Mallard: Is it morning already? How time flies when one has a bio-anthropological phenomenon on one's table.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: I thought it was just an old dead guy.
- Leroy Jethro Gibbs: [interrupting an awkward discussion between McGee and Palmer] Ducky, what we got?
- Donald Mallard: I thought you'd never ask, Jethro.
- [chuckles]
- Donald Mallard: And Timothy, your intruder died from a single well-placed bullet to the heart.
- Timothy McGee: I was just firing back, Ducky. It was a lucky shot at best.
- Abby Sciuto: And at worst, that apartment of yours is decidedly unlucky.
- Donald Mallard: [in McGee's apartment, where a preserved body was found] Now this is, indeed, one for the books.
- Jimmy Palmer: Yeah, "Ripley's Believe It or Not!"
- Donald Mallard: Seeing is believing. Apparently the body's proximity to these ventilation ducts beneath the floor provided the ideal conditions for mummification.
- Jimmy Palmer: He's wearing a St. Christopher medal. The patron saint of traveling? How's that for irony?
- Donald Mallard: To me, honesty is all about the three yous.
- Jimmy Palmer: "The three yous," Doctor?
- Donald Mallard: Yeah, well, there's the you that the world knows, there's the you that your friends and family know, and there's the you that only you know. And that you most certainly has secrets.
- Jimmy Palmer: Ah, but is the secret the same as a lie?
- Timothy McGee: Oh, great, you know, too?