Doug Walker credited as playing...
Nostalgia Critic
- Nostalgia Critic: There's clearly more bad sequels out there than good sequels, so let's go ahead and determine how these'll be judged. We're gonna be comparing how much the sequel let down the previous film or films. It also has to have been shown in theaters and come from a series that started with promise. We knew nothing could improve "Twilight", so why would it be a letdown if the sequels were bad? These are the films that could've been a contender, but instead turned into a con-blunder. What's that? That was a bad add-on to something popular you loved? Well, then, I got you in just the right mood! We're gonna look at the top 11 worst movie continuations ever! Why top 11? Because top 80 would go too long! This is the top 11 worst sequels!
- Nostalgia Critic: The number 1 worst movie sequel of all time is... "Troll 2". I mean, how can it not be? This is not only considered the worst sequel ever made, this is often considered the worst *film* ever made. It does everything a horrible sequel is supposed to do: it has awful acting, awful writing, awful effects, and it of course has nothing with the first "Troll" movie. Literally nothing! There is no connection! In fact, they're not even technically trolls, they're goblins.
- [in the film, a sign is displayed reading "Nilbog"]
- Nostalgia Critic: Spelled backwards! This is such a bad movie that they actually make *good* movies on what a bad movie it is. There are documentaries studying this film. It's something of a marvel!
- Nostalgia Critic: [feeling quite depressed] I'm sorry I don't look my best, but seeing how we did the Top 11 Best Movie Sequels of all time, it only figures to do the Top 11 Worst. And guess what? There's a few more than Top 11, so we had to do the absolute worst! And I'm not ready! In some respects, sequels are very difficult to do, trying to capture the magic of something people clearly liked and trying to make lightning strike twice while also taking the idea to a new level. But many sequels not only fail at that, but pour salt in the wound of annoyance.
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Batman and Robin" ranks at #3 on the list] Let's try to be fair.
- [a shot of the old "Batman" TV show is displayed briefly]
- Nostalgia Critic: Batman has been through purposefully-degrading past lives before. This is clearly trying to be one of those silly, mocking satires of the superhero. But... that's funny, I don't see Adam West or Burt Ward or... "Mad TV Presents". In fact, I see the actors from the previous *serious* movies that they were making not too far back. So how does this make any goddamn bat-sense?
- Nostalgia Critic: ["The Phantom Menace" ranks at #4 on the list] Yeah, pretty hard not to have what many consider the most hated sequel of all time. Though I technically think "Attack of the Clones" is the worst movie, "Phantom Menace" is much more of a letdown than really any Star Wars viewer, fan or not, could have expected. Going from a simple story with strong themes, likable characters, and a well-defined mythos, this prequel gave us way too much story, boring/annoying/racist characters, and poop jokes, because *that's* what was missing from Star Wars. Abandoning the mix of practical effects with superimposed imagery, this world lives mainly in the computer, never really looking like the main characters are looking at what should be right in front of them. The movie has done everything to rewrite the ideas and symbols that fans held so dear by saying faith and religion can be in a blood test. Virgin births are totally a thing now. No big deal. And people don't need to have personalities, because we can put all our humor in one obnoxious character.
- Nostalgia Critic: ["The Godfather Part 3" ranks at #11] I'm putting this so low on the list because it is still a competently-made film. It still is Ford Coppola, it does have a memorable line or two... Okay, just one...
- Michael Corleone: Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in.
- Nostalgia Critic: And if it was released on its own, it'd just be seen as an ordinary bad flick, not one of the worst. But, seeing how this is coming off of the heels of not one, but *two* of what many consider the greatest films ever made, this flick was painful to sit through. It went from subtle, complex, powerful storytelling to over-the-top acting, over-the-top writing, and even over-the-top kills. When someone died in these movies, it felt real, chilling, often disturbingly quiet. Here, a helicopter tries to take out people like a "Fast and the Furious" movie!
- [he sees Albert Volpe bellyaching about his lucky coat during the raid]
- Nostalgia Critic: Look at this asshole whining about his lucky coat! Yeah, he would've lasted long in the Mafia world!
- [Volpe gets mowed down by a barrage of bullets]
- Nostalgia Critic: The writing gets needlessly complicated, involving incest, controlling the Vatican Bank, even ties to the friggin' Pope. Come on, I know the Mafia's big, but if there was a "Godfather Part 4", they'd probably go after the world next, like Dr. Evil!
- Nostalgia Critic: ["X-Men Origins: Wolverine" ranks at #8] Is there even a point to having "X-Men Origins" at the beginning? I mean, they never made another one. Why? Because this movie sucked that hard! There's tons of X-Men, but they never gave them another "X-Men Origins" movie, because... yeah, this killed it! On the first try! Now, granted, I know a lot of you were probably expecting "X-Men 3" to be in here, but... Deadpool. No, no, I don't need to say any more. There is more, but I don't need to say it! Deadpool!
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Superman 4: The Quest For Peace" ranks at #5] It's not like the Superman movies have had the best track record, but easily the worst comes down to "4". Maybe "3". No, no, no, "4". "3" and "4", we'll say "4". With a... I guess, well-intended message about stopping nuclear warfare, this movie not only had no idea how to make any strong message about the subject, apart from... stop it, but it had some of the worst writing, acting and effects out of all of them. They literally use the same clip of Superman flying several times! They say Superman's hair can hold a ton, yet it can be cut with ease. The movie cares so little that there's actually a scene where a human being is just taken into space! No suit, no oxygen, she can just... breathe! That, is a special kind of "I don't give a shit."
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Blues Brothers 2000" ranks at #7 on the list] Did anybody ask for this? Anyone? "Blues Brothers" is about as perfect a comedy as you can get: it's energized, it's hilarious, it's raunchy, it's a musical, it has car chases, it has some of the most unbelievable crashes ever caught on screen, it's a friggin' icon! This one? This one feels like a Saturday morning cartoon, even down to having the little kid sidekick. And you want to know why he's there? Because everyone else looks old, tired, unfocused, slower, and not funny! My god, is it not funny! All that it's trying to do is recapture the magic of the first film with half the budget, half the energy, and a million subplots that clearly don't belong in "Blues Brothers"! Haven't you ever wanted to see the Blues Brothers go up against a Caribbean witch? What the fuck am I watching?
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Son of the Mask" ranks at #2 on the list] Okay, this really shouldn't be that hard: a sequel to "The Mask"! You can't get Jim Carrey? That kid who won the Nintendo Power Contest got gypped? Actually, he kind of did. It's an interesting story, look it up. But none of that matters. Just find somebody else, do some cartoony effects, and it should be... passable, at the very least.
- [beat]
- Nostalgia Critic: This is anything but passable.
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Blair Witch 2: Book of Shadows" ranks at #10 on the list] Some would debate whether or not the first "Blair Witch Project" is a legitimately good movie. Some say it's subtle and inspired; others say it's just shaky cam and screaming. Regardless, it started a whole new genre of horror on virtually no budget, and it changed the course of how many horror films are made. While there's many disagreements on the first one, everyone agrees "Blair Witch 2" is shit, with laughable characters, bizarre editing, ridiculous visuals, and an uncountable amount of storylines that go *nowhere*. Like, none of them! Even the intro, it opens up *four times*! It's like the endings to "Clue": is it multiple choice? Do I get to choose which one we open with? It doesn't matter, because none of them are explained!
- Nostalgia Critic: [the "Transformers" sequels rank at #9 on the list] It doesn't matter which one, they're all exactly the same. Now, don't get me wrong, the first film is a stupid piece of action fluff. But as action fluff went, it could be kinda fun. Michael Bay got a ton of death threats after he was announced as the director of the first film, but after it premiered, and audiences saw cool robots fighting, a couple of laughs, and even the original voice of Optimus Prime in there, people seemed to like what almost seemed like a satire of the Bay movies while still being a Bay movie. The death threats seemed to stop. But they started right back up again with "Transformers 2", "3", "4", and... yeah, let's just throw "5" in there, even though it hasn't come out yet. Many say they insult what the original Transformers were trying to do. Others say they're racist; others say they're sexist; others say they're... whatever other... "-ist" there is out there; others say it's loud, obnoxious and dumb. But truth be told, a lot of that doesn't bother me as much. What bothers me the most, is that they're *boring*.
- Nostalgia Critic: ["Jaws 3D" ranks at #6 on the list] From the film that created the summer blockbuster to the film often deemed as a summer ball-buster, "Jaws 3D" is exactly what you would think of, not only in a bad sequel, but in a bad *3D* sequel. Look at this shit. This is beyond embarrassing. Was the point of having it 3D so you can see in three dimensions how bad the keying is? Granted, I know the shark looks a little fake in the first film the more you see him, but nothing compares to this one.
- [a shot of the shark breaking the glass is shown - the effect is clearly fake]
- Nostalgia Critic: This, is one of the most laughably lame effects ever! That is, you know, except for all the other effects. And they aren't just bad effects that you have to freeze frame to see how bad they are; they hold on these uncomfortable illusions for a while, like they were PROUD of how they looked.
- Nostalgia Critic: [listing the runners-up on his list of bad sequels] "Home Alone 3": It didn't try hard enough to be on this list, but that's also why it's an honorable mention. "X-Men 3": "Wolverine" is worse, but killing off a ton of your characters adding up to nothing is a good way to piss off a fan base. "Spider-Man 3": Stupid, yes, but the other films are stupid, too. This one just took that one step too far. "Terminator: Genisys": So, the other films are totally retconned now, huh? Whatever, everybody's already forgotten you. The "Pirates of the Caribbean" sequels: Stop being so needlessly long and complicated. You're a "Pirates" movie, not "Lawrence of Arabia"! "Clerks II", because "Clerks" always needed a bigger budget for bigger stars and dance numbers. Really captured the spirit of the original there! "Highlander II": The first one ended fine; why give bad writers the chance to muck it all up? "Die Hard 5": Want to hate John McClane? Now you can, through one easy step of watching this shithole! "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation": We knew nobody liked "Mortal Kombat" for the gore, so we took that all out, giving you the B-movie story and crappy characters that made it popular to begin with.
- [singsong voice]
- Nostalgia Critic: You're welcome!
- Nostalgia Critic: [about "Troll 2", which ranks #1 on the list] Now, the catch is, it is very similar to "The Room" in one of those "so bad it's good" things. It is hilariously awful and incredibly entertaining, which could have some people debating whether or not it should be number one. But that's not what we're judging. We are judging worst. And if a movie, even by the people who acted in it, call it the worst film ever made, I think it's probably the worst sequel, too. It's a film so bad, it goes into that realm of being *positive*, a movie that brings a smile to your face, a perfect anomaly. Its choices are not only dumb, they're mentally challenging. How could anyone be okay with the decisions made? How did anyone say, "Yes, that'll do, onto the next scene"? It's an amazing film so bad that it truly has to be seen to be believed.
- Nostalgia Critic: [complaining about "The Godfather Part 3"] Let's talk about that elephant in the room, Sofia Coppola. Francis had a tendency of sneaking his daughter into his films, but here, he gave her a starring role, and...
- [he shows clips of Sofia's character Mary in this film]
- Mary Corleone: I really love him. / I'm your little cousin. / I love my family.
- Nostalgia Critic: [shaking head] Thank God she can direct.
- Nostalgia Critic: [about "The Phantom Menace"] Star Wars was loved so much that it took fans several viewings for them to accept that this is actually a bad movie. It was like the stages of death, going through denial, bargaining, fear, anger, but when the acceptance finally set in, there was no denying what crap storm we all witnessed. This went from arguably the most anticipated film in a lifetime to the most despised betrayal of a fan base felt with a creator. No matter what the future of the Star Wars movies hold, this film is so bad that everyone can almost guarantee it can't possibly get worse.
- Nostalgia Critic: [about "Blues Brothers 2000"] The first film had a simple premise: raise money to save an orphanage. Hell, a Three Stooges short could pull that off. Here, it's not even made clear what they're doing. Just a band, I guess. And people are chasing them down... for some reason. It so doesn't give a shit that it doesn't even end. It just stops! It looks like we're gonna get a big chase scene after seeing almost none throughout the entire film, and then... they roll the credits! Yeah, the sequel to one of the best car chase comedies ever, and they write out all the car chases!
- Nostalgia Critic: [about "Batman and Robin"] Nobody wants to see a corny satire of our beloved superhero, they want to see the superhero taken seriously! This is about the clearest example of *not* being taken seriously! Not one iota! As bad as "Batman Forever" got, it did at times at least try to be a real Batman film. This is a hardcore mocking of a precious icon all the way. And even with that said, it's not a very good mocking. Everything here is either a diet version of the Adam West show or just ice puns, all delivered horribly! It's like if "Spaceballs" was the fifth Star Wars movie. Hell, it's not even like that, 'cause "Spaceballs" is funny! It's more like if "Disaster Movie" was the fifth Star Wars movie! Every second is an insult to one of the greatest superheroes of all time. And it knows it's doing it and doesn't care! They care so little that they even throw in...
- [a shot of the infamous Bat Credit Card is shown]
- Nostalgia Critic: [through gritted teeth] ... you-know-what!
- Nostalgia Critic: [about "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"] What should've been the easiest movie to make awesome, a standalone Wolverine movie, with Gambit, the Blob, an actual cool-looking Sabertooth, and a story promising betrayal, blood and vengeance, turned into a goddamn X-suckfest. Not only does little to none of the continuity match up with the other X-Men films, but everything is either boring, cliched, doesn't make sense, or going out of its way to piss fans off! Fan favorite Gambit is barely in the movie; the Blob isn't a mutant, he just ate a lot - that was a necessary change, good job! And, of course, one of the most popular and unique Marvel characters of all time, Deadpool, has pretty much no connection to his character whatsoever.