Doug Walker: Nostalgia Critic • Chester A. Bum

Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel

Nostalgia Critic • Chester A. Bum

Nostalgia Critic: You know, I'm not gonna lie, I expected more out of the director of "Private Parts" and "The Brady Bunch Movie", but I also suspected less out of the same director of "Dr. Dolittle" and "John Tucker Must Die". So I guess it evens out.

[in the concert during the movie, Dave tells Alvin to share the spotlight because it's not all about him]
Nostalgia Critic: [scoffs] Where would Alvin ever get that idea in a band called "Alvin and the Chipmunks"? You know, for the longest time, I didn't even know they were called Simon and Theodore, I thought they were called...
[referring to Simon]
Nostalgia Critic: ..."And-The" and...
[referring to Theodore]
Nostalgia Critic: ..."Chipmunks"! But please, continue to keep him modest!

Alvin: I'm gonna clock you like an acorn and eat you for dinner, with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.
Nostalgia Critic: You're right, movie. More kids do need to see Silence of the Lambs.

Nostalgia Critic: The Chipmunks are an... interesting franchise, to say the least. That is to say, they've been around for years, and nobody's really thought that much about them until their movies. The Chipmunk movies always pulled in a big amount every December when they were released. I guess people just saw them as an extra Christmas present in the same way your cat giving you a dead mouse is technically an extra Christmas present. Though in this case I'd accept it. People started to get pissed because these movies would keep popping up, obviously having little to no effort thrown in, and yet still make enough money that their shit-obnoxious faces would show up all over the place! Well, you know what? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of entertainment clearly not trying and somehow getting tons of rewards for it! So you know what? I'm gonna do the same thing! I'm gonna figure out the magic formula in today's movie and see how to get the same results. Because if they don't have to try, I shouldn't have to try. Something of value is finally gonna come out of these damn movies. I will be rewarded for my suffering! My soul is prepared! How's yours? Let's take a look.

[first lines]
Nostalgia Critic: Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to and welcome back again to Sequel Month. Or in this case, "Squeakquel Month"? No! That is *not* the case! I will not give in to your rodent-based puns, you unfunny bucket of toilet leavings!