Jon Favreau credited as playing...
Happy Hogan
- Happy Hogan: You take care of the suit. I'll take care of the music.
- ['Back in Black' by AC/DC plays]
- Peter Parker: Oh, I love Led Zeppelin!
- Peter Parker: Everywhere I go, I see his face. I just really miss him.
- Happy Hogan: Yeah, I miss him too. I don't think Tony would've done what he did, if he didn't know you were gonna be here after he was gone.
- Happy Hogan: Heads-up. Nick Fury's calling you.
- [Peter notices his phone ringing]
- Peter Parker: I don't really wanna talk to Nick Fury.
- Happy Hogan: Answer the phone.
- Peter Parker: Why?
- Happy Hogan: Because if you don't talk to him, I have to talk to him. I don't want to talk to him.
- [Peter declines Fury's call]
- Happy Hogan: You sent Nick Fury to voicemail?
- Peter Parker: I gotta go.
- Happy Hogan: You do not ghost Nick Fury!
- Happy Hogan: I gotta get you guys out of here! Get on the jet!
- MJ: Who are you?
- Happy Hogan: I work with Spider-Man!
- Flash Thompson: You work for Spider-Man?
- Happy Hogan: I work *with* Spider-Man, not *for* Spider-Man!
- [jet is suddenly destroyed]
- Happy Hogan: New plan!
- Peter Parker: What's your password?
- Happy Hogan: Password.
- Peter Parker: No, what is your password?
- Happy Hogan: Password. The word spelled out.
- Peter Parker: You're head of security and your password is "password"?
- Happy Hogan: I don't feel good about it either.
- Happy Hogan: [after throwing a shield like Captain America at a drone but misses badly] How does Cap do that?
- Peter Parker: Happy, is that you?
- Happy Hogan: Is it me? Yeah, of course it's me!
- Peter Parker: Stop! Tell me something only you would know!
- Happy Hogan: Only I would know... Uh... Remember when we went to Germany? You pay-per-viewed a video in your room? They didn't list the titles but I could tell by the price that it was an adult film at the front desk, and you didn't know how I knew...
- Peter Parker: Ok ok! Stop!
- Flash Thompson: I post stupid videos daily for people to like me.
- Happy Hogan: Hey, if it wasn't for those stupid videos, Spider-Man would have never found you.
- Flash Thompson: Spider-Man...? Spider-Man follows me? I saved us, guys!
- MJ: If you saved us, why are we about to die?
- Happy Hogan: Hey, sorry I'm late.
- May Parker: Happy! Hey.
- Happy Hogan: Oh, you look lovely.
- May Parker: Thank you, you too.
- Happy Hogan: Thank you. New dress?
- May Parker: Uh, yeah. Yes, it is. That's a new beard.
- Happy Hogan: It's my blip beard, because I grew it in a blip. Blip beard.
- May Parker: I see.
- Spider-Man: What just happened?
- Happy Hogan: Nobody could live up to Tony, not even Tony. Tony was my best friend, and he was a mess. He second-guessed everything he did. He was all over the place.
- Peter Parker: I've face a lot of deception, and I'm tired of the lies. So it's time for the truth to be out there. Are you dating?
- Happy Hogan: Yes.
- May Parker: Not really.
- Happy Hogan: What? I think...
- May Parker: It's a summer fling.
- Happy Hogan: Yes, that evolves and grows like any other. Open to wherever it might lead.
- May Parker: I still don't know where it's going to go. Anywhere. On or off.
- Happy Hogan: And to share with people...
- May Parker: But we'll always be friends, no matter what.
- Peter Parker: I'm going to go, because I've got a date. Uh, bye.