Jim Parsons credited as playing...
Sheldon Cooper
- Mary Cooper: Shelly, how do I put this? By your third birthday you had memorized over a thousand different kinds of trains... and I never imagined a woman getting aboard any of them.
- Sheldon Cooper: What's a... You thought I was going to be alone for the rest my life?
- Mary Cooper: No, just for the middle part. At the end I assumed there'd be nurses.
- Sheldon Cooper: This is highly insulting!
- Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon, don't over-react.
- Sheldon Cooper: I'm the child she was worried about! I have a brother and sister whose combined intellectual wattage couldn't power a potato clock! If I spotted them the potato!
- Sheldon Cooper: I was acting odd intentionally.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Really? So you can control it?
- Penny Hofstadter: How was Texas?
- Sheldon Cooper: Oh, you know, the Lone Star State. That should be its Yelp rating.
- Sheldon Cooper: We've known about evolution since 1859; she still believes in Noah and his amazing zoo boat.
- [last lines]
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That was fun; thank you.
- Bernadette Rostenkowski: Yeah, thanks.
- Penny Hofstadter: Our pleasure.
- Leonard Hofstadter: See you guys at work.
- Raj Koothrappali: Be there bright and early.
- Howard Wolowitz: Not me; paternity leave.
- Sheldon Cooper: Agh. A small human wreaks havoc on his wife's genitals, and he gets time off.
- Howard Wolowitz: With pay, sucka!
- [they leave and Sheldon and Penny start to clear up. Then Howard returns]
- Howard Wolowitz: Forgot the baby. Still new to this.
- Sheldon Cooper: Well, I was her special little boy, and she did take my flower.
- Penny Hofstadter: Do boys have flowers?
- Leonard Hofstadter: Who knows what he has down there?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: I'm your girlfriend. By saying you're a weirdo, she's saying I'm a weirdo too.
- Sheldon Cooper: She is not.
- Sheldon Cooper: [In present] And?
- Amy Farrah Fowler: That's exactly what she was saying.
- Sheldon Cooper: [Referring to his mother being okay with him and Amy "living in sin" together] Really? Where's the judgment? Where's the fire and brimstone? Where's the part where you say we're going to Hell, and I point to the window and say, "Have you seen the size of the bugs outside? We're already there."?
- Sheldon Cooper: I got an earring.
- [flashback: Sheldon gets his ear pierced]
- Sheldon Cooper: AAAAHH!
- [Present]
- Sheldon Cooper: My mother made me take it out.
- [Flashback: Amy helps pull it off]
- Sheldon Cooper: AAAAHH!
- [Present]
- Sheldon Cooper: Amy put alcohol on it.
- [Flashback: she does]
- Sheldon Cooper: AAAAHH!