Rachael Harris credited as playing...
Linda Martin
- Linda Martin: Dealing with mortality was so much easier when I was just another clueless idiot.
- [Teary]
- Linda Martin: Being a celestial insider... really sucks. I used to walk around thinking maybe reincarnation was real. Sure, it sounded bonkers, but I could still wonder, still hope...
- [sighs]
- Linda Martin: What if I came back as a chameleon or something? Chameleons are cool.
- Lucifer Morningstar: In the end, the shoe turned out to be interesting, and the top hat, boring.
- Linda Martin: Right. So you're gonna embrace your boring side now?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well, I would, but I have no boring side.
- Linda Martin: I'm so glad you're here. I'm trying to plan my ex-husband's memorial, and I could really use another opinion.
- [Holds up two urns]
- Linda Martin: Um, okay. So, which one do you like best? Just, knee-jerk reaction. Go.
- Amenadiel: [Points] That one?
- Linda Martin: [Skeptical] Really? Really? You don't think it's too ornate?
- Amenadiel: [Points to the other one] That one.
- Linda Martin: You're right. This one's simple, yet elegant. See, you're just the insight I needed.
- Linda Martin: How's that saying go? "We're all in the gutter, but some of us are looking up at the stars".
- Lucifer Morningstar: The stars are just gas bags, and I never would have fed Oscar that line had I known how much I'd have to hear people quote it back to me.
- Linda Martin: [Stunned] Oscar freakin' Wilde? Really?
- Lucifer Morningstar: Mm-hmm. Now, *he* was an interesting bachelor.
- Linda Martin: So... Oscar, huh? Tell me everything.
- Lucifer Morningstar: Well... he was straight when I first met him.