Jay and Silent Bob Reboot

I am actually not sure if "Jay and Silent Bob Reboot" even got released. I cannot imagine how it could because that would mean that some studio executives somewhere would actually have to endure this "film" for two hours.

I doubt this review will help anybody because I could not even make it through half of the "movie". I watched it up to a "scene" where the blond fella who is Jay and Silent Bob go to some fast food restaurant, and the scene was so stupid it defies any kind of logic of how this thing would ever get released even on some obscure cable station. Kevin Smith doesn't speak when he plays this character so he just makes these dumb faces and moves his head around and somehow this is supposed to be really funny. Do even the most diehard fans actually laugh at this? Does Kevin Smith think he has great physical comedy skills or something? I really cannot think of many performances that come off more awkward, it just doesn't work at all. I don't want to ever think about this stupid thing ever again. Can you imagine how many good screenplays were never produced and this ridiculous crap gets made. Truly just painful in every way. It's not even fun to make fun of it because it's just too boring. Maybe Kevin Smith can take this act on stage and stand there and make those stupid faces to all his diehard fans.

I don't know what the story is even about or what happens to silent bob and his friend, just do yourself a favor and never look at this one. If your friend suggests watching this, just punch him in the stomach and go to bed.

I will not even rate this thing because I cannot seem to find a way to give it less than one star.

Let's start with the BAD. And yes there is enough of it.

1. The film by it's nature LOW budget. Granted Smith has always been on the low end and some of his movies have been more successful in spite of the budget. Clerks 1, 2, Amy.. some are hampered a slight bit Dogma.. so unlike 'Strike Back' the camera is much less static and the set pieces and physical comedy are toned down a bit (even the last act fight out could have been bigger).

2. This is not a negative really but at times the meta nature can make the film cheesy.. and on occasion the remake / reboot nature while the in-joke is supposed to be it's obvious is just a bit too much.

Having said that. This much like 'Strike Back' is a reward for the fans who have followed not only Jay and Bob.. but Dante, Holden, Brodie, Alyssa.. his various entries into the DC universe with cameos from his 'Supergirl' gang (sadly the cameos from 'The Flash' either never happened or were cut). But this also includes jokes from Smith about not only himself.. But even more this is a real family affair. The real Kevin and Jay have grown up.. they've become fathers and in this film, do has Jay even though he doesn't know it.

The reboot characters on their own adventure never really get much to do aside from the leader "Milly" aka Millennium Falken. I admit i appreciated her performance much more on the second viewing... She doesn't play a Jay clone and there's an actual friction between them but also as those who know the stories and obvious connection between them (Jay has idea been referred to as Uncle Jay). So it works really well on screen.

Even with the limited budget it's still a nostalgia blast. A few actors return some in their iconic roles and a few in new ones. Usually just a quick scene. I think most of them have been revealed but i won't spoil them here though.

I will say most people not familiar with the characters can enjoy the film on a smaller scale but will not appreciate the nostalgia fueled meta deep dive where most of the best humor comes from.

Following his near-death heart attack, Kevin Smith self-finances a film that redefines self-indulgence. A film in which he casts his friends and family, and not only allows you to catch up with characters from his previous films, but is impenetrable to anyone without a working knowledge of them.

Having learned that Hollywood is planning a reboot of "Bluntman and Chronic" a failed superhero franchise from a decade past. Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith) must again cross the country from New Jersey to California to stop the movie, based on themselves, from being made. A chance encounter has Jay reunite with Justice (Shannon Elizabeth) who informs him that he has a daughter, Millennium (Harley Quinn Smith).

If, by any chance, you're planning on watching this movie having not previously watched the films that make up Smith's view-askew-niverse, just don't. 'Impenetrable' really is the right word, character's come and go without explanation, many lines are call backs to something that happened, or was said in one of the previous movies and without that back knowledge I'm not sure that the film would even make sense to you. This is not to say that with that prior knowledge, the film is brilliant, or good, or even passable. The flaws are apparent, even to those of us that do have it. The performances are generally poor, the story is weak (even if you accept the meta-commentary aspect of the film rebooting "strike back") and most of the jokes don't land. It is a tick box exercise in seeing a character, or actor again, with everything else hung around that. I'm so happy that Jason Mewes is still alive to be in the film that this seems like a churlish comment, but his dentures bend his lips into such an odd pout I kept thinking that it was someone else and it was a constant distraction.

However. As it came to an end - I found I couldn't bring myself to actually hate it. There was just enough in the moments with Ben Affleck, Chris Hemsworth, Stan Lee, Millie's interactions with Jay and the stuff at Chronic-con to drag the score up a little and make me look forward to, when hopefully shorn of quite as much indulgence, "Clerks 3" and "Mallrats 2" see the light of day.

I can't rate this any better than a "3", while the original is funny this one just misses almost all the marks.

What do you get when you have two 50 year old men playing characters created as and meant to cater to grunge stoner 90s kids? Mostly you get re-jokes. Most of us who were a Kevin Smith fan haven't enjoyed a lot of what he has produced in a very long while. "Jersey Girl" was pretty good.

This movie is just unconvincing, lazy and offensive. I wonder how bad "Clerks 3" will be? This one is just a really poor effort.

There's just enough Nostalgia to make me finish it though I feel stupider for doing so. Bad acting, lazy script and jokes that just don't land that pretty much sums up this hopefully last outing