Rati Gupta: Anu

The Consummation Deviation

Anu

Howard Wolowitz: Guys, guys, there's a simple solution.
Raj Koothrappali: I am not breaking up with her.
Howard Wolowitz: All right. Let's keep thinking.
Raj Koothrappali: [a few minutes later] Hey, everybody, it's Anu.
Anu: Hi.
Howard Wolowitz, Leonard Hofstadter, Penny Hofstadter, Bernadette Rostenkowski, Amy Farrah Fowler: [all crammed onto one cushion] Hi!
Sheldon Cooper: [in his spot] Welcome!

Raj Koothrappali: Oh, I am stuffed! I should not have eaten all those dumplings.
Anu: I think we should have sex.
Raj Koothrappali: [playing it cool after almost crashing the car] Me, too.
Anu: Yeah, it's just we haven't done it yet, and I think it's important to make sure we're compatible before we get married.
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, I totally agree. Oh, just one question. While we're doing it, can I leave my shirt on? You know, the dumplings, pretty salty.
Anu: It doesn't have to be tonight. How about this weekend? I can get us a room at my hotel.
Raj Koothrappali: Okay. Sounds nice. We can order a bunch of room service, because I'm not eating anything between now and then.
Anu: Aw. Are you worried?
Raj Koothrappali: I am not worried. If anything, I'm overconfident. Edging into smug.
Anu: I'm sure it's gonna be fine.
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, it's gonna be better than fine. Trust me, I've had no complaints.
Anu: Good to know.
Raj Koothrappali: Well, I've had questions, comments, some constructive criticism, but... no complaints.

Raj Koothrappali: Sorry, I had to use the facilities.
Anu: With a bottle of champagne?
Raj Koothrappali: Mm, I like to celebrate the little things in life. You need to go? There's still some left.

Anu: Raj, what is going on?
Raj Koothrappali: [taking off his coat] No, no, it's not what's going on, it's what's coming off.
Anu: Stop it. You're acting weird, and it's freaking me out.
Raj Koothrappali: Why? Because I couldn't talk and ran in the bathroom to slug back a bottle of champagne when I pretended to pee?
Anu: Okay, I think I'm gonna leave.
Raj Koothrappali: No, no. Wait, wait. Don't... okay, don't go.
Anu: Fine. Then tell me what's going on.
Raj Koothrappali: Well, funny story...
Anu: The truth.
Raj Koothrappali: Oh, god, the truth is so not good for me.

Raj Koothrappali: For most of my life, I got so nervous around women that I couldn't talk to them without alcohol.
Anu: So you've been drunk every time we've seen each other?
Raj Koothrappali: No. No, it hasn't happened in a long time. And I really thought I was over it, but I guess... I don't know, I guess I-I wanted so much for tonight to go well, that I stressed myself out. It came back.
Anu: Why didn't you tell me about this before?
Raj Koothrappali: I was embarrassed.

Anu: If it makes you feel any better, I've got things I'm embarrassed about, too.
Raj Koothrappali: Really? Will you tell me one?
Anu: Okay. Um... Ugh. I hate telling people this. I don't like music.
Raj Koothrappali: What kind of music?
Anu: Just... all of it. It sort of seems like a waste of time.
Raj Koothrappali: Even Beyoncé?
Anu: See, this is why I don't tell people.
Raj Koothrappali: No. Um, it's fine. It's just, have you heard "Single Ladies"?
Anu: Yeah, and I don't get it. I mean, the lyrics are "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."
Raj Koothrappali: Y-You have to sing it in the voice of a goddess. Like, uh...
Anu: [he hums the melody] My point is, we both have our little eccentricities.
Raj Koothrappali: Little eccentricities? One is a deep-seated psychological disturbance, and the other can be solved with half a glass of chardonnay.

Anu: Last night was... wonderful.
Raj Koothrappali: But all we did was talk.
Anu: Yeah. And it was wonderful. Am I safe to assume you talking to me now is a good sign for our marriage?
Raj Koothrappali: Yeah, and-and for my liver. Hey, about the other thing. Um... should we just wait for another night?
Anu: Or I go take a shower, and you decide how you want to play this.
[she heads to the bathroom, while he tries to figure out her meaning]
Anu: Take a shower with me, Raj.