William Shatner: William Shatner

The D & D Vortex

William Shatner

Wil Wheaton: You come face to face with a massive monster with a gaping maw full of teeth, three huge legs, and flailing tentacles. What do you do?
William Shatner: Fellas, it looks like we're facing a, an otyugh. Here's the plan...
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: Hold on there, Bill.
William Shatner: Now what, Kareem?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: How do we know it's not a neo-otyugh?
William Shatner: Same way I know the difference between an owlbear and a bugbear. Does that answer your question?
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: No.
Joe Manganiello: Look, there's only one way to settle this. We chop it up and look at the pieces.
Kevin Smith: Oh, come on. Why do you always gotta attack everything? Why can't we just try talking to it?
Joe Manganiello: Big surprise, Podcast here wants to talk.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar: What do you think, Leonard?
Leonard Hofstadter: I think this is the greatest day of my entire life.
William Shatner: It's all right, buddy. One day, you'll meet a girl.

William Shatner: Hello.
Sheldon Cooper: Captain on the bridge! Captain on the bridge! You're William Shatner.
William Shatner: You can call me Bill.
Sheldon Cooper: Ooh, can I call you Captain?
William Shatner: No.
Sheldon Cooper: Please?
William Shatner: No.
Sheldon Cooper: [whispering] Please?
William Shatner: Sure.
Sheldon Cooper: And w-will you call me Science Officer Cooper?
William Shatner: This has got to stop.
Sheldon Cooper: I think you know how to make it stop.
William Shatner: [offering a handshake] Put her there, Science Officer Cooper.

Sheldon Cooper: [knocking on Wil's door] Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.
[peeking inside, then ringing the doorbell]
Sheldon Cooper: Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton. Wil Wheaton.
Wil Wheaton: Now's not a good time, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper: For what?
Wil Wheaton: You.
Sheldon Cooper: I need to apologize.
Wil Wheaton: Apology accepted.
Joe Manganiello: [off screen] Wil, come on! I cast Fireball, and you need to roll your Dexterity Save.
Wil Wheaton: I'll be right there.
Sheldon Cooper: Are you playing Dungeons & Dragons?
Wil Wheaton: No.
Kevin Smith: Would you hurry up, man? The map says this dungeon's full of dragons.
Wil Wheaton: [seeing Sheldon's look] Still no.
Sheldon Cooper: Who are you playing with?
Wil Wheaton: Uh... it's just some friends. You don't know them.
William Shatner: Wheaton, get back here. Hobgoblins are at the gate, and you're at the door buying Girl Scout cookies.
Sheldon Cooper: Is that William Shat...
Wil Wheaton: [shutting the door] Nope.

William Shatner: Put her there, Science Officer Cooper.
Howard Wolowitz: [sounds of Sheldon vomiting] Oh, poor Shatner.
Raj Koothrappali: Poor Shatner? I have to eat lunch now.
Leonard Hofstadter: Look, Sheldon's pretty embarrassed, so when he gets here, we should...
Howard Wolowitz: Make fun of him?
Leonard Hofstadter: A lot.
Raj Koothrappali: Guys, don't you think that's a little mean?
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah.
Raj Koothrappali: Okay, just so we're all on the same page.