Johnny Galecki: Leonard Hofstadter

The Stockholm Syndrome

Leonard Hofstadter

Penny Hofstadter: Leonard, I can't go home. I have to be there for Amy.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. I was thinking that, too. As angry as I am at Sheldon, I still want to see him win that medal.
Penny Hofstadter: You know, it's so strange. No matter how thoughtless and selfish he is, I still love him.
Leonard Hofstadter: If you think about it, he has kind of been our practice kid.
Penny Hofstadter: Like when you make pancakes and the first one comes out a little wonky.
Leonard Hofstadter: The university prefers "quirky".

Leonard Hofstadter: Was Amy suspicious when they had to let your dress out?
Penny Hofstadter: No. She was so happy, she didn't even question it.
Leonard Hofstadter: Someone's gonna figure it out. Why don't we just tell people?
Penny Hofstadter: No, it's too early. I haven't even wrapped my head around it.
Leonard Hofstadter: I have. My head is wrapped.
Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, well... if something else had been wrapped, we wouldn't be in this situation.

Leonard Hofstadter: You pick up your dresses?
Amy Farrah Fowler: Yep. The tailor had to take mine in and let Penny's out. Best day of my life.
Sheldon Cooper: What about the day you met me?
Amy Farrah Fowler: I stand by my statement.

Sheldon Cooper: [repairing his DNA model] Carbon. Hydrogen. Carbon. Carbon. And last but not least, carbon.
Leonard Hofstadter: This might be the glue talking, but that was a very pleasurable 139 1/2 hours.

Leonard Hofstadter: [on the phone with Howard] Oh, us, too.
Penny Hofstadter: Wait, what?
Leonard Hofstadter: They're gonna stay. The kids are fine. Bernie's parents took over.
[listening]
Leonard Hofstadter: Really? Oh, poor little guy.
Penny Hofstadter: Is Michael okay?
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, it's Stuart. Bernie's dad gave him a hug, cracked a rib.

Leonard Hofstadter: Are you kidding me? You just found out that a woman who has loved and cared for you for twelve years is pregnant, and all you can say is you're relieved that she's not gonna get you sick?
Sheldon Cooper: There's no need for a recap. I was there.

Sheldon Cooper: What would you like me to say?
Leonard Hofstadter: How about congratulating us?
Sheldon Cooper: Are congratulations even in order? I didn't think Penny wanted children.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, she didn't, now she does. And just so you know, we weren't gonna tell anybody so we wouldn't upstage your big day.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, please, you couldn't upstage us. We won a Nobel Prize. Any idiot can have a baby.
Howard Wolowitz: [approaching] Hey. What's going on?
Sheldon Cooper: Case in point.
Leonard Hofstadter: You are a selfish jerk. To hell with you and your Nobel Prize.

Howard Wolowitz: Oh, good, you're here. Listen, we're thinking maybe we should go back to L.A.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Why?
Howard Wolowitz: We just can't be this far away from the kids. Bernie's having a meltdown, and frankly, so am I.
Sheldon Cooper: Yeah, well, pull it together. This is a big day for me.
Howard Wolowitz: [scoffing] Yeah, I wasn't sure what to do. Now I am. We're going home.
Leonard Hofstadter: We'll join you.
Penny Hofstadter: Oh, wait. Do I get a vote in this?
Leonard Hofstadter: They'll have pickled herring on the plane.
Penny Hofstadter: Bye-bye.

Leonard Hofstadter: What kind of DNA is this, anyway?
Sheldon Cooper: I was trying to design the genetic code of an advanced race of human being. One of my rare failures, actually.
Leonard Hofstadter: What went wrong?
Sheldon Cooper: The balls kept sticking to my pants.
Leonard Hofstadter: Let's just let it dry.
Amy Farrah Fowler: [entering with Penny] Hi.
Leonard Hofstadter: Hey.
Sheldon Cooper: Hello.
Penny Hofstadter: Hey, babe.
Leonard Hofstadter, Sheldon Cooper: Oh, don't slam the...!
[they shut the door, but the model remains intact]
Sheldon Cooper: That was exhilarating.

Sheldon Cooper: We need to do something about your wife.
Leonard Hofstadter: What's the matter?
Sheldon Cooper: She is clearly sick, and she's gonna take us all down with her.
Leonard Hofstadter: She's not sick, Sheldon.
Sheldon Cooper: She is, and I'm gonna catch it, and it's gonna ruin the greatest day of my life.
Leonard Hofstadter: I promise you're not gonna get what she has.

Amy Farrah Fowler: Sheldon has something he'd like to say.
Sheldon Cooper: I'm sorry I didn't react appropriately. You and Penny are bringing new life into the world. Congratulations. I can't wait to meet it.
Leonard Hofstadter: It?
Sheldon Cooper: That's a gender-neutral pronoun. If you're offended, take it up with the English language.

Penny Hofstadter: Come on, you didn't really expect him to react like a normal human being.
Leonard Hofstadter: No, but still, a-after all these years, after all the crap I've put up with, you'd think just this once he'd care about someone else's feelings.
Penny Hofstadter: Oh, my god!
Leonard Hofstadter: What?
Penny Hofstadter: Pickled herring. Who knew how good it was?
Leonard Hofstadter: Really?
Penny Hofstadter: Sounds gross. Looks gross. Smells gross.
[taking a bite]
Penny Hofstadter: It's delicious!

Leonard Hofstadter: If I recall, you're the one who went out drinking with Sheldon, then came home and attacked me.
Penny Hofstadter: What? Attacked you? I think I said "Do you wanna?".
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah. And I was helpless.
Penny Hofstadter: Uh-huh.
Leonard Hofstadter: [they kiss] So... do you wanna?
Penny Hofstadter: Well, I can't get more pregnant.
Leonard Hofstadter: Mm-hmm. We'll see about that.