American Guinea Pig: The Song of Solomon

Where do I begin with this pathetic third installment of the American guinea pig films. The horrendous acting or the lamest dialogue ever written. I felt insulted for being tricked into watching this C-movie. I wish I could remember the reviewers name who actually said this was a pretty good film because I would put his ass on blast, He needs to quit giving advice immediately because he has no clue when a film is a crock of Sh$%. One of these user reviews stated this film was far fetched but that was too kind for this abomination. How can a movie even be made about priests performing exorcisms without the writers or directors who are obviously not religious do no research on the topic at hand. I mean the lords prayer was the only prayer said through the whole movie and they did it 10 times as if a priest only knows 1 prayer (Our father who art in heaven) That's a dead giveaway to anybody who worships that you are not well versed in God's word, And for a priest to appear in that fashion crushes any belief that he possesses faith. The special effects were the worst I've seen from the guinea pig collection long drawn out moans and character reactions were abhorrent and comical at best and it really does a disservice to the first "American Guinea Pig" which by all accounts was the best one because atleast it attempted to look some what real with an OK dialogue but if this is the first Guinea pig film someone gets to see they will never attempt to watch another. I forced myself to sit and watch these 82 mins. Of my life being wasted because I wanted to be totally sure this atrocity was from start to finish and I was right. At one point I broke out into laughter because the possessed girl started singing which I guess was the song of soloman and all of a sudden it turned into a musical. Please do yourself a favor and do not waste almost an hour and a half watching this way below average pile of garbage because that's why I wrote this review to save you from wasted time. And yes you are welcome in advance.

This one was so bad and an extreme let down. Nothing like the other american guinea pig movies. The whole vibe was off. And tbh I really have nothing good to say about it other than the ending was kind of funny. It's straight up a badly done dark comedy. Also.. the guinea pig and american guinea pig movies are known for the gore. The gore in this movie is so poorly done...its like they bought some cheap props from a Halloween shop and put slime on it. I dont think I could ever reccomend this movie to folks. If you want to see an extremely badly done movie..this one will be the movie for you no doubt about it.

Could a film be much worse?... Ummm NO. I won't reiterate what's already been rightfully said about, the acting, stealing of scenes from other films ect. It's all true. And almost impossible to sit through. I'd give it a negative number except for the trooper performance by the actress trying to make something out of leftovers. I'm sure you'll have to see it now, but do yourself a favor. Find the boots or, as many have had their fill quickly, used copes for a couple bucks. Move along nothing to see here

I think my biggest issue with this movie is that it tries way too hard to be serious, but none of the acting is good enough to be taken even remotely seriously. If it had even taken a couple brief moments to make a light joke here and there, so we know not to take it so serious, it could've helped it a tad. The bad actors overacting resulted in a lot of unintentional comedy.

The fact we did not see the possessed girl before the possession, in an innocent state, also lessened the effect in my opinion. Not like I wanted this film to be any longer than it already was, but I felt like I kept getting introduced to more and more new characters that I just didn't care about or know enough about to care, when I didn't even know anything about the lead girl in the first place. That makes for a pretty big chore to sit through this one.

But I don't believe they were concerned much with character development anyway, they were much more concerned with the splatter. Which is totally fine! I love gore flicks. There are a few fine displays of effect work in this film. The finale was rather impressive in that aspect. But when there's nothing else going for it, and the film just isn't good enough to believable, I feel the impact of the gore is also lessened.

With some better actors, maybe this movie would have succeeded for me. But as is, it should've known to keep it's tongue firmly in cheek so the viewer could've had a more enjoyable time with it.

Very disappointed it's to far fetched &so far away from a proper exorcism it's unreal!! To much holly wood & not enough realism. very dissapointed with this movie