Chris Pratt: Mario

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

Mario

Spike: Well, well, well! If it isn't Brooklyn's favorite failures, the Stupid Mario Bros.!
Luigi: Oh, great. Spike's here.
Mario: [Sarcastically] Hey, Spike.
Spike: Yeah.
[Imitates Mario]
Spike: "It's-a me!"
[laughs]
Spike: Tell me, have you even gotten one call since you left me to start your dumb company?
Luigi: As a matter of fact, Spike, we have.
Mario: [to Luigi] Wow, really?
Luigi: Yeah! Our mom called. She said "Aw boys, that's the best commercial I've ever seen!" And I said "Thank you very much mother, we're very proud of it!" So BOOM!
[accidentally drops his phone to the ground, breaking it]
Spike: [laughs] Good luck running a business with this idiot.
[throws a napkin at Luigi, but Mario swiftly catches it]
Mario: [Angrily] Say that again about my brother, and you're gonna regret it.
[throws the napkin back at Spike]
Spike: [gets up and grabs Mario by his overalls] Oh, yeah? Get this through your tiny brain, Mario. You're a joke. And you always will be.
[drops Mario, chuckles and leaves]
Luigi: Are you insane? He's three times your size!
Mario: Luigi, come on! You know, you can't be scared all the time.
Luigi: Mmm, you'd be surprised.

Donkey Kong: So this is the end. Being slowly digested by an eel next to an idiot in overalls.
Mario: At least your brother isn't gonna die because of you!
Donkey Kong: At least you're not gonna die with your dad thinking you're a joke!
Mario: Yeah, well, my dad thinks I'm a joke too.
Donkey Kong: Yeah, well... Your dad's right!
Mario: You know what? I feel bad enough! Just- Just leave me alone!
Donkey Kong: I've never met your dad, but he sounds brilliant!
Mario: Just go in a corner and SMASH some stuff, smash monkey!
Donkey Kong: [Angered] I... AM... MORE... THAN A GUY... WHO SMASHES THINGS!

Princess Peach: Is there anything like this in your world?
Mario: What?
Princess Peach: [Louder] Is there anything like this in your world?
Mario: [laughs] No. We don't drive on rainbows.
Princess Peach: What are you gonna tell me next? That the turtles aren't evil?
Mario: No, no. They're usually pets.
Princess Peach: [surprised, smiles] No way!
Mario: Eh, come to Brooklyn, I'll buy you a turtle.
Princess Peach: [Giggles] Maybe I will.
Donkey Kong: [rudely interrupts again to annoy Mario] Dude, is this you flirting? This is painful!
Mario: Jeez, I was just trying to be nice!
Donkey Kong: You are so embarrassing! A princess would never go out with you!
Toad: Yes, she would! I guarantee she would!
Princess Peach: Guys, enough!
Donkey Kong: Alright, alright.

Princess Peach: Thinking about your brother?
Mario: We've never been apart this long.
Princess Peach: Don't worry. We're going to save him.
[touches a Fire Flower and becomes Fire Peach. She uses a fireball to set up a campfire]
Mario: You don't seem like you're from here.
Princess Peach: I don't know where I'm from.
Mario: Really?
Princess Peach: Yep. My earliest memory is arriving.
[flashback to Princess Peach arriving in the Mushroom Kingdom as a baby and the Toads happily welcoming her]
Princess Peach: I was so lucky they found me. They took me in, raised me like one of their own, and when I was ready, they made me their princess.
Mario: Hey, maybe you're from my world!
Princess Peach: There's a huge universe out there. With a lot of galaxies.

Toad: [Mario looking around the mushrooms and tries to touch the blue mushroom, Toad jumps out of nowhere and startles him]
[Yelling]
Toad: DO NOT TOUCH THAT MUSHROOM! YOU'LL DIE!
Toad: Oop, I'm sorry. That one's perfectly fine.
[Leans on the blue mushroom and pats it]
Mario: [Frightened] That's a little mushroom man. A little Mushroom man talking to me.
Toad: Please to meet you. I'm Toad.
Mario: [Confused] Uh, Mario.