Channing Tatum credited as playing...
George Washington
- Blacksmith: Do I even want to know why you need a silver bullet?
- George Washington: Best that you not know Mr. Smith
- Blacksmith: Why do you keep calling me Mr. Smith?
- George Washington: Well Revere called you black smith.
- Blacksmith: Right, because I'm a blacksmith.
- George Washington: Right, a black smith.
- Blacksmith: A blacksmith.
- George Washington: Black smith.
- Blacksmith: I'm a smith who works with metal, which oxidizes during the heating process, and turns black.
- George Washington: So... you're a smith?
- Blacksmith: Exactly.
- George Washington: Of the Baltimore Smiths?
- Blacksmith: Just tell me what you need it for motherfucker.
- Thomas Edison: Uh guys Gettysburg is impossibly vast. Finding this address is like finding a needle in a haystack.
- George Washington: Yeah Edison's right everybody let's just give up.
- Thomas Edison: That is not what I said.
- George Washington: What? Dudes, look, we tried.
- Thomas Edison: One thing. We literally tried one thing.
- George Washington: Yeah, and it didn't work! We all got wet Edison, god! Look this isn't fun anymore.
- Samuel Adams: Uh I can fix that. Let's get hammered! Then, fuck it, we hit the streets, mob rule style. Anyone we see who doesn't look like us, they see the bottoms of our boots!
- Geronimo: Oh my god.
- Samuel Adams: Ok fine no Indians this time ooh geez.
- Thomas Edison: Oh my god I don't know how many times I have to tell you Sam, this is not India.
- Geronimo: Also, you're a fucking racist.
- Samuel Adams: Uh... no. Paul's the racist. He's the best horse racist in the colonies.
- Paul Revere: Yeah I'm a great racist.
- Geronimo: Holy shit.
- George Washington: Ding dong, its America motherfucker.
- Benedict Arnold: Georgie. Well, color me surprised.
- George Washington: Oh I'll color you fucking dead Ben!
- Benedict Arnold: Bravo. Did you practice that line in the car on your way here?
- George Washington: What the fuck is a car? And no, it was a rebuttal to something you just said! How can I have thought it in advance if you said it just now, and I came up with the perfect fucking rebuttal!
- Benedict Arnold: Oh pardon me. I forgot that you aren't versed in the gentlemanly art of debate like your best friend Abe Lincoln. Oh, or should I say ex best friend. Because he's dead.
- George Washington: Damn he's good.
- Thomas Edison: Look at this place; it's a quagmire! Guys, we could be here for years and accomplish nothing.
- George Washington: You're right, but we'd be accomplishing nothing - for America!
- Abraham Lincoln: George, you are a wild man.
- George Washington: What can I say? Somebody's got to balance out all your boring politics.
- Abraham Lincoln: George, I guess that's what makes us such a good team. A team that will last until we both die of natural cause and old age, in our forties.