Maribeth Monroe credited as playing...
Mindy St. Claire
- Mindy St. Claire: You always end up going back. I mean, sometimes you go back because you feel bad your friends don't know what you know. Sometimes you go back because you walk in on me while I'm masturbating, and sometimes you go back because I walk in on you while I'm masturbating. But no matter what, you always go back.
- Mindy St. Claire: Do you have anything I can snort, like a crushed-up aspirin, or some eye shadow, or cocaine?
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I've only ever said "I love you" to two men my entire life. Stone Cold Steve Austin, and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin. I mean, why would you show me that?
- Mindy St. Claire: I don't know. You guys are, like, trapped here together. I feel bad. You know, I'm rooting for you guys.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: No, there is no "us guys". We basically just met each other.
- Mindy St. Claire: No, Eleanor. You guys have known each other a really long time. Also, it doesn't matter if I told you that or not, because when Michael finds out he's failed again, he'll just reboot you.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: Chidi, Janet, we're leaving!
- [taking the tape from the VCR]
- Eleanor Shellstrop: I am taking this with me.
- Mindy St. Claire: [sarcastic] Oh, no. It's my only copy. Don't.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: How many times have Chidi and I slept together?
- Mindy St. Claire: Eight different days, but, like, twenty different sessions.
- Eleanor Shellstrop: And how many times did we say... that stuff?
- Mindy St. Claire: Oh, only once. Oh, God, I hated it. It, like, really killed the vibe for me. See, after I watched the porno I made starring you, I watched you talk about your feelings to cool down. It's like anti-porn.
- Mindy St. Claire: You've been here 15 times already.
- Chidi Anagonye: What?
- Mindy St. Claire: Did you bring the cocaine I asked for? Please tell me you somehow remembered this time. Mama needs her medicine.