Manny Jacinto credited as playing...
Jason Mendoza
- Jason Mendoza: No, no! Homies! Check it, 'cause there's something messed up with this place. We keep fighting with each other, none of the TVs get the NFL Red Zone Channel, my soulmate doesn't even know who Blake Bortles is. I know this sounds crazy, but... I think we're in the Bad Place.
- Michael: Jason figured it out? Jason? This is a real low point. Yeah, this one hurts. Ow.
- [snaps his fingers to reset]
- Michael: How did it come to this? I was just trying to do something innovative and different that would improve the way we make humans' lives miserable for eternity.
- Jason Mendoza: Hmm. Well...
- Michael: Shut up. What are my options? Do I have any? I mean, I can't go along with her plan. It'll be a spectacular failure. But I can't ignore her, or she'll rat me out to Shawn. I'm trapped.
- Jason Mendoza: You're saying a lot of words right now, and I only know some of them, like "rat" and "Jason". But I know a little wisdom I can give you.
- Michael: I know everything that happened in your life, and it was all stupid, so I highly doubt that.
- Chidi Anagonye: Michael, what do we do here?
- Michael: I don't know. Apparently, the Bad Place knows one of you actually belongs down there with them, and they want that person to get inside the obelisk, or they're gonna take all of you.
- Jason Mendoza: I can't go! I'm too young to die! And too old to eat off the kids' menu! What a stupid age I am!