Raúl Esparza credited as playing...
ADA Rafael Barba
- Rafael Barba: [to Justin Vichinsky] You believe that Martha Cobb is a right-wing extremist?
- Justin Vichinsky: Yeah, except she's way worse than the people that she provokes. Like she has any idea what it's like to be a hardworking American with her prep-school privilege and her gated Bel Air mansion. Sure, she presents as this blonde beach bunny, but in reality, she's the Joseph Goebbels of the alt-right propaganda machine and we need to stop her by any means necessary.
- Rafael Barba: Hmm. Disgust, lack of control, rage. You just checked all the boxes on the rapist checklist, Mr. Vichinsky.
- Rafael Barba: [about Martha Cobb] Well, let's just say that she doesn't present as your typical rape victim.
- Olivia Benson: How do you mean? Martha Cobb has made a career out of playing fast and loose with the facts.
- Rafael Barba: Fact: She was raped.
- Olivia Benson: Right, and that doesn't endow her with sainthood.
- Rafael Barba: Don't you just love free speech? You get what you paid for.
- Olivia Benson: A dismissal? That's what you came up with?
- Rafael Barba: How would you have voted?
- Olivia Benson: Look, whether or not I believe her, this woman deserves her day in court.
- Rafael Barba: But this case stopped being a search for the truth. It turned into a Rorschach test about which side butters your political bread.
- Rafael Barba: You're in my seat.
- Jed Karey: Well, I was at the legal aid bar. Too many lawyers buying me drinks. I literally had ten beers lined up in front of me on the bar.
- Rafael Barba: That is such a nice perk for representing a rapist.
- Rafael Barba: You heard.
- Olivia Benson: How bad was it?
- Rafael Barba: The Titanic meets the Hindenburg meets my first year of Little League. Martha never mentioned that she spurned a sexual overture from Randy Platt the night before the assault?
- Olivia Benson: No.
- Rafael Barba: Why the hell not?
- Olivia Benson: I'm gonna find out.
- Rafael Barba: The People are unable to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Justin Vichinsky sexually assaulted Martha Cobb. Accordingly, I move to dismiss the indictment.
- Jed Karey: The defense joins in this motion.
- Judge Heshy Horowitz: This is highly unusual, Mr. Barba. Are you sure that's what you want to do?
- Rafael Barba: I am sure that the perpetrator of this crime will never be known to a legal certainty.
- Judge Heshy Horowitz: I appreciate your candor. Very few prosecutors would have the courage to make this call. The case is dismissed.
- Randy Platt: I'm here because I was served with a subpoena, and I obey the law unlike some other individuals.
- Jed Karey: Why'd you attend Martha Cobb's speech at Hudson University, Mr. Platt?
- Randy Platt: Because we knew the antifa cucks and the "Black Lies Matter" crybabies would try to stop her from speaking.
- Jed Karey: Now, who's this "we" you're referring to?
- Randy Platt: I'm the leader of a group called Patriots of the American Way.
- Jed Karey: Right, yeah. According to your website, its mission statement is to, "Purge the country of degenerate filth and create a white ethno-state"?
- Randy Platt: That's right.
- Jed Karey: Well, just so we understand this clearly, which members of the jury would your group want to purge?
- Rafael Barba: Objection.
- Judge Heshy Horowitz: I'll allow it.
- [to Platt]
- Judge Heshy Horowitz: You may answer.
- Randy Platt: [points out nonwhite jurors] Him, her, her, him, her.
- Juror: [angrily rises from his seat] Step out of this courtroom, and I'll kick the living crap out of you.
- [all talking indistinctly; gavel bangs]
- Judge Heshy Horowitz: All right, let's all take it easy.
- Randy Platt: Oh, and just to finish my answer flannel shirt in the back row. I can't tell if he's a Jew and/or a homosexual. We'd have to conduct some research into him.
- Jed Karey: Is this one of your books with a picture of you in a skimpy outfit on the cover?
- Martha Cobb: Yes. That "skimpy outfit" put me on the "New York Times" best-seller list for 43 straight weeks.
- Jed Karey: So, what are you selling your readers, Ms. Cobb? Ideas or T and A?
- Rafael Barba: Objection!
- Martha Cobb: This is all very entertaining, but do you really wanna ask me about my ass after what I've been through?
- Jed Karey: Withdrawn!