Peter Macon credited as playing...
Lt. Cmdr. Bortus
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Hey, Bortus, pull up a chair.
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: I do not wish to imbibe, sir. I am here to request that we alter course.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Alter course? To where?
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: Moclus.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up. This is... this is not another baby thing, is it?
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: Sir, you are aware that Mochlans urinate only once per year.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: I am, yeah.
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: It is... my time.
- Olix: Well, you wanted something to do.
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: The ceremony is followed by a celebration, for which the captain has allowed the use of the Orville's mess hall. You are all invited to attend with a mate.
- Cmdr. Kelly Grayson: Okay. Any questions?
- Lt. Cmdr. John LaMarr: Yeah, like, a million, but I'm not gonna ask.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Union Central has granted clearance for the diversion, as the course aligns with Outpost 58, where, as you all know, we're scheduled to take on board our new dark matter cartographer. And Bortus, if you need any time off to make preparations, feel free to relieve yourself.
- Lt. Gordon Malloy: [snickering, then to Bortus] No, it's... it's okay, man. He's just taking the piss out of you.
- Capt. Ed Mercer: Okay, that's it. Dismissed. We're done.
- Lt. Cmdr. Bortus: What is the problem?
- Lt. Alara Kitan: Gordon has a crush on the new cartographer.
- Lt. Gordon Malloy: I don't have a crush, for god's sake.
- Lt. Alara Kitan: [mouthing] He does.
- Lt. Gordon Malloy: I just wanna know what her deal is, you know? And I thought maybe I would see if she wanted to go to Bortus' Ja'loja party.
- Lt. Alara Kitan: Well, then ask her.
- Lt. Gordon Malloy: Well, how do you think I should do that? "Hey, I'm Gordon. You like to pee"?