Jonny Lee Miller credited as playing...
Sherlock Holmes
- Sherlock Holmes: As I told you before, planning the perfect crime is child's play compared to unraveling one.
- Sherlock Holmes: When anxious, uneasy and bad thoughts come, I go to the sea, and the sea drowns them out with its great wide sounds, cleanses me with its noise, and imposes a rhythm upon everything in me that is bewildered and confused.
- Sherlock Holmes: Last night, you asked if I still harbored ill feelings towards my brother. I do.
- Dr. Joan Watson: A bunch of French mobsters wanted to kill him. Did he solve the problem the way you would have? No, but you've got to get over it.
- [he grimaces]
- Dr. Joan Watson: What?
- Sherlock Holmes: Couple of months ago, during my sabbatical in Vermont, I read a story in a French newspaper about a particularly nasty drug war in Andorra. The leadership of Le Milieu was completely wiped out by the Sicilian Mafia.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Are you saying that all the people that wanted to kill Mycroft are dead?
- Sherlock Holmes: As French doornails. Did a bit of digging. There is no longer any threat against him. There is also no chance that he's unaware of this development. He could be sitting here with us now at this very moment if he so chose.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Why didn't you tell me?
- Sherlock Holmes: I suppose I was angry. A little embarrassed. My brother no longer has a price on his head, and I had to learn about that from a newspaper.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Did you reach out to him?
- Sherlock Holmes: Why would I?
- Dr. Joan Watson: Because he's your brother.
- Sherlock Holmes: The dissolution of our relationship is a mess entirely of his making. Re-establishing communication is his responsibility.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Are you seriously keeping score? It doesn't matter who calls who first. You get to see your brother again.
- Sherlock Holmes: You're taking his side, understandably. Perhaps if I'd have given you three and a half orgasms, you'd see things my way.
- Sherlock Holmes: [to Watson, entering the kitchen] You look repulsed, and there's tarragon in the air. Are you back on that cleanse?
- Dr. Joan Watson: Am I dreaming, or did you just wake me up with no theatrics?
- Sherlock Holmes: Well, you were quite understanding of the extra sleep I required during my bout with PCS. I thought I'd return the favor... once.
- Sherlock Holmes: [reading from the Galahad Institute publicity handout] Named after Sir Galahad, the famed Arthurian knight who gained immortality by touching the Holy Grail, the Galahad Institute was established in 1991 by Dudley Becket, philanthropist, scholar, and heir to the celebrated Becket Medicated Powder Company. Their bestselling product is rectal cream; I'm not sure who's celebrating them.
- Dr. Joan Watson: If it's not you, you should count yourself lucky.