Jonny Lee Miller credited as playing...
Sherlock Holmes
- Detective Marcus Bell: Where's Joan?
- Sherlock Holmes: She had to go home to check on a house guest.
- Detective Marcus Bell: You guys have someone staying with you at your place? Like on purpose?
- Dr. Joan Watson: I have a houseguest.
- Sherlock Holmes: You've taken a lover in my absence. That's excellent! I can't wait to meet him. Or her. Or is it them?
- Sherlock Holmes: [watching a man only wearing a towel running into the woods] And there goes the towel.
- Detective Marcus Bell: [yelling at the man] Stop right there!
- [to Joan and Sherlock]
- Detective Marcus Bell: I'll call local PD for backup. You two wait here.
- [runs off after the man]
- Dr. Joan Watson: Well, should we help him or...?
- Sherlock Holmes: Well, normally I would, but you saw the towel drop. Mr. Roselli couldn't be more unarmed. Unless you think he's got a weapon up his...
- Dr. Joan Watson: Let's just go look at the garage.
- Sherlock Holmes: I want you to know that I am happy for you. Your decision to become a parent. I support it.
- Dr. Joan Watson: You do?
- Sherlock Holmes: Why wouldn't I?
- Dr. Joan Watson: Are you forgetting I was in the room with you when you told a pregnant woman that procreation was the only act more masturbatory than masturbation?
- Sherlock Holmes: She was a murder suspect, and besides, you're adopting.
- Sherlock Holmes: Thank you for tending to this while I was gone. I couldn't have taken the time I needed without knowing that you were still at the helm.
- Dr. Joan Watson: I wasn't the only one looking for Michael.
- Sherlock Holmes: You're the only one who mattered.
- Dr. Joan Watson: Are you sure these results are accurate?
- Sherlock Holmes: I'm not. So I'm about to bring them to my Irregular Gay. That didn't sound right. She's not my irregular gay...
- Dr. Joan Watson: Her name is Gay, and she is an Irregular. I know. I introduced her to you.
- Sherlock Holmes: It was difficult being away. I hear the department has done adequate work in my absence.
- Detective Marcus Bell: [laughing] Yeah, well, we *are* the police. They don't call us New York's most adequate for nothing.