Rex Linn credited as playing...
Tom Petersen
- [Sheldon has been sent to the principal's office for talking back to his science teacher. He's waiting in the principal's secretary's office while she talks to Principal Petersen]
- Principal Petersen: Does he know I'm in here?
- Sheldon: [over PA] Attention students and faculty:
- Principal Petersen: Oh, no!
- Sheldon: This is Sheldon Lee Cooper.
- Principal Petersen: [jiggling his office doorknob, but it won't open. Sheldon has jammed it with a chair from the other side] What the hell!
- Sheldon: We're taught that hard work pays off, but that's not true. I came up with a solution to save Earth from killer asteroids. And lost the science fair to Sue Ann Ludlow and her frizzy hair machine.
- [cut to Sue Ann in class, looking confused]
- Sheldon: But it wasn't just me who lost. We all lost. Wake up people! The system's broken!
- [cut to his brother, Georgie, looking embarrassed, in class]
- Sheldon: Real innovation isn't valued. Nowadays, it's all about flash and style. I blame MTV. Luckily, my parents can't afford cable.
- George Sr.: [cut to Sheldon's father, George Sr., in a hallway] I can afford it.
- Sheldon: [cut to principal's office, where Petersen is climbing out of his window to get to the secretary's office] I urge you all to rise up! They can't send everyone to the principal's office! Chew gum in class! Use a #1 pencil! Go nuts!
- Sheldon: [Principal Petersen is climbing in through the secretary's office window] This is Sheldon Lee Cooper, signing off! Live long and prosper!
- [runs out of office]
- Principal Petersen: You'd better run, you little punk!
- Sheldon: [narrating] The science fair may be a competition, but when the goal is promoting knowledge, we're all winners.
- Principal Petersen: And the winner of the Medford High School Science Fair is... Sue Ann Ludlow!
- Sheldon: [loudly] You've got to be kidding me!
- Mary Cooper: Shelly!
- Sheldon: [yelling] You people are crazy!
- George Sr.: [sotto voce, while picking up Sheldon and carrying him out of the science fair] All right...
- Sheldon: You're celebrating mediocrity! Mediocrity! MEDIOCRITY!