Lockdown

It took me a while to make sure that it wasn't bad on purpose. You spend more time wondering how a film like this could be made... who spent money on it... and why? Obviously folks who like a lot of cheap violence. And on top of all of this... the lightning is horrible.

A cluster muddle of stereotype characters locked in a cliché hostage negotiation with dreadful dialogue and a massively intrusive soundtrack. Other than that it is not too bad!

This is a vapid vanity project written, directed and produced by Massimiliano Cerchi, never seen anything from him before and hope not to in the future. Nobody emerges with glory from what is without doubt the worst movie I have had the misfortune to endure this year.

Oh dear God, I had never heard of Massimiliano Cerchi who is credited with being both (co)writer and director of this dreadful dreck or seen any of his other work and I sure hope never to again. He must have been without sleep for several days and nights and high on mind-altering illegal substances to pound out such pitiful garbage. I honestly believe an average middle school drama class could write, direct and perform a much higher quality film than this. The dialog was not only unbelievable but simply ridiculous. The lighting in many scenes was poor. The so-called "actors" and "actresses" in this lousy production better have day jobs or they're going to starve. Try as I might, I simply cannot find one redeeming quality in this entire 89 minute pukefest.

THIS was directed by experienced director Massimiliano Cerchi, who also wrote it along with another experienced writer? A 5th grader could write and direct this better. We did watch the entire film, because we changed our attitude that we were watching a comedy, and the beers and bongs eased the pain of what we were put through.

There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this mess, with the only exception being Michael Wainwright as McMasters, who's performance was Oscar-worthy - compared to the others, including Pare, who seemed asleep for the most part. I'm sure most of the poor acting blame goes to Cerchi, who clearly offered zero cast direction. Scott Engrotti as Snake was decent, but everyone else was unconvincing, especially the female FBI officer, and Bai Ling, who I couldn't understand anything she was saying over her constant yelling and screaming, and who was just annoying af.

The writing was also by far the worst I have seen, riddled with plot and technical issues, incohesive and total nonsense, especially each time the plot changed from scene to scene. There was zero credibility in how the FBI handled the entire situation, and eating and drinking coffee seemed more important and abundant. The best part of the film was the ten-second dream Bai Ling had. The rest of it was slow, boring and cringeworthy. The editing was the worst I have ever seen, the sound and score typical B-film unfitting and annoying.

I don't know who funded and greenlight Cerchi's final cut and said "awesome, let's go to market", but they all need to take up a new hobby. This mess makes all the recent Bruce Willis flops seem like Oscar-worthy films. Yup, it's THAT bad. And even worse that an experienced director and writer gave us this nonsense. It's a very generous 3/10, mostly all going to Wainwright's amazing (compared to the rest) performance.

Should have been a 1, but because it was made for fifty bucks I got generous.

Terrible acting, direction, editing, lighting, etc.

The Bai Ling action scenes are a in particular laughably bad.