Roseanne Barr credited as playing...
Roseanne Conner
- Roseanne Conner: I should've gone with you to the doctor.
- Becky Conner-Healy: It wouldn't have changed anything, I can't have kids.
- Roseanne Conner: Well, maybe the doctor's wrong. I had a kid in my 40s. It usually happens when you're least expecting and least prepared. Hell, all my pregnancies were like that. Well, one I wanted.
- Becky Conner-Healy: Which one was that?
- Roseanne Conner: You.
- Roseanne Conner: Dan, did you know if you go on the Internet you can find everybody's addresses and their phone numbers?
- Dan Conner: No, but I know if you're looking for an online job, DON'T go to FantasyPosition.com. Those people are working but it ain't a job.
- Jackie Harris: Don't get mad, I took Becky to the fertility clinic, but it's all right, she's not going through with it anymore.
- Roseanne Conner: That's great, how'd you talk her out of it?
- Jackie Harris: I didn't, the doctor did. He said her eggs are too old.
- Roseanne Conner: That's great! How'd you get him to say that?
- Jackie Harris: I didn't. It's true. He says her chances of having a baby are slim to none
- Roseanne Conner: [Armani walks up to her] No! I am not giving your organization any money, I am tired of seeing your ads on TV, you're ruining my snack time!