Sara Gilbert credited as playing...
Darlene Conner
- Darlene Conner: Why are you getting a dog?
- Becky Conner-Healy: Because Andrea's going to pay me for having her baby. I'm going to be her surrogate. As soon as the baby's born she's going to pay me $50,000, then I'll be able to buy my dream home with a big yard, and since I'm gonna have a yard, I need a dog to go with it.
- Darlene Conner: So you decided to do the last thing first. You've inspired me, Becky. I'm going to go jump in a swimming pool, then fill it with water.
- Becky Conner-Healy: Why don't you pet him?
- D.J. Conner: I can't, I'm allergic.
- Darlene Conner: No you're not. Mom just said that so she didn't have to get you a dog.
- D.J. Conner: I could've had a dog?
- Darlene Conner: Yeah. You could've had seafood too, except it's expensive.
- D.J. Conner: Damn it! I love dogs!
- Becky Conner-Healy: This wasn't supposed to be my life, serving white people 'fa-gee-tas'.
- Darlene Conner: Well, take some advice from a 40-year-old woman with 2 kids who's still living at home with her parents, who was just told today she's not Build-A-Bear material.