Roseanne Barr credited as playing...
Roseanne Conner
- Dan Conner: There is no reason to ever leave your family. You may think about it, you may dream about it, you may gas up your bike and make sandwiches, but you don't ever do it.
- Roseanne Conner: So that's what you did that day! I knew there was no drywall convention.
- Dan Conner: I've said too much.
- Roseanne Conner: Mom, how'd you get kicked out of a retirement home? Did they find out you're never going to die?
- Roseanne Conner: [Harris smashes a bunch of cakes] I'll pay for those. Hit it, Mary.
- Mary Conner: Beep!
- Mary Conner: [Roseanne's doing self checkout] Beep!
- Darlene Conner: Mom, that didn't go through.
- Roseanne Conner: I heard a beep.
- Darlene Conner: Oh my God, you're stealing that.
- Roseanne Conner: No, they're making me work as a checkout lady, and my starting salary is bacon.
- Roseanne Conner: [to Darlene before a cake eating contest] If I go into diabetic shock, I want you to get my insulin pen and then, you know, quick, and then point me back to my cake.