Ryan Reynolds credited as playing...
Nolan Booth
- Nolan Booth: No, no. Don't move. Don't Move.
- John Hartley: Why?
- Nolan Booth: Bulls have terrible eyesight. But they can sense motion.
- John Hartley: You're thinking of Jurassic Park.
- Nolan Booth: No. I saw a nature documentary starring David Attenborough.
- John Hartley: You're thinking of Richard Attenborough from Jurassic Park.
- John Hartley: Vamonos. Vamonos. They're telling me to run. They're telling me to run.
- Nolan Booth: If you run, you die.
- John Hartley: All right, yes or no, was Jeff Goldblum in it?
- Nolan Booth: Oh, my god!. It was Jurassic Park. That's Jeff Goldblum.
- John Hartley: Asshole!
- John Hartley: Can you fly a helicopter?
- Nolan Booth: Does the back of your head look like a huge penis?
- [beat]
- Nolan Booth: The answer is yes!
- John Hartley: You know what I think is funny, Booth?
- Nolan Booth: Vin Diesel's audition tape for Cats? It exists.
- John Hartley: You know, I'm really starting to not like you.
- Nolan Booth: Oh, come on! Not like me? You don't even know me. We could have a lot in common.
- John Hartley: Maybe I don't know you, but I've been building a profile on you, ever since you stole William Strang's Lady with a Red Hat from the Tate back in 2014.
- Nolan Booth: You can't prove that was me.
- [they look at the painting on the wall]
- Nolan Booth: I got that on Etsy.
- John Hartley: We're not partners. This is a marriage of convenience.
- Nolan Booth: I want a divorce and I'm keeping the kids.
- Nolan Booth: Oh, you made it. Thank God! I was praying for you.
- John Hartley: Don't give me that shit. You were gonna leave me?
- Nolan Booth: You said, "Save yourself."
- John Hartley: I said, "Go", but I didn't mean without me.
- Nolan Booth: You said, "go save yourself." And I was gonna carry you with me in my heart like an eternal flame, you stupid complainer.
- John Hartley: She's The Bishop.
- Nolan Booth: No shit, dipdick!
- The Bishop: It's so nice to finally meet you, Mr. Booth. Such a thrill to be face-to-face with the second-best art thief in the world.
- Nolan Booth: Oh, I see what you did there. That's... Yeah, you got lucky a couple of times early on, you know? But you can't name one time in the past year that you beat me.
- The Bishop: Helsinki.
- Nolan Booth: My parachute failed.
- The Bishop: Jakarta.
- Nolan Booth: My Segway sank.
- The Bishop: Macau.
- Nolan Booth: Nobody knew that Miley Cyrus was going to be there. It was a completely unannounced show.
- Nolan Booth: No way, Jose. The intrepid Inspector Das.
- Inspector Urvashi Das: I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I'll take that. Thank you.
- Nolan Booth: It's nice to meet a fan.
- Inspector Urvashi Das: Oh, that's cute.You wanna know what else is cute? Because you're wanted in 18 separate countries, I get to choose which one of then detains you until trial, given your escape history. What are you, six for six now?
- Nolan Booth: Yeah. One more and I get a Shawshank jacket.
- Inspector Urvashi Das: Keep making your jokes because I'm about to send you to the worst place in the world.
- Nolan Booth: Your Instagram account?
- Nolan Booth: [to John] Where'd you get that jacket? It's a statement piece. Somewhere there is a very nude cow whispering, "Worth it."
- Nolan Booth: [to The Bishop] I don't have to win in order for you to lose. That's the best part of this whole thing.
- Nolan Booth: This whole time you were working for her?
- John Hartley: Not for, with. Like partners.
- The Bishop: Yeah, we're both The Bishop. Surprise!
- John Hartley: There are two bishops in chess.
- The Bishop: And a whole lotta pawns.
- Nolan Booth: [to John] Look, it's not that I don't care about you. It's that I don't care about anyone.