Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre

I spent my socially distant Halloween watching this movie, and it did not disappoint. Kind of a mash up of George Romero and John Waters with absolutely zero budget, Ghoul Scout is a very intentional B movie. It's fast paced and trashy with lots of dark humor, exactly as it should be. The sibling/villains had great energy together, and you could tell the whole cast was having a blast. Definitely recommend watching this with a group (safely over Zoom if you're reading this during the pandemic).

Sure, when I sat down to watch the 2018 movie "Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre", I wasn't exactly having much of any expectations for the movie, given the movie's title and the movie's cover. Yet, on the off chance that the movie might actually be one of those rare movies that prove to be so bad that they are great, then I sat down to watch "Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre".

Well, I managed to watch 42 minutes of the movie that ran nearly two hours long. But well before those 42 minutes, I must admit that I was good and ready to get up and turn off the ordeal two or three times. This movie was bad, really, really bad.

The storyline was just a random heap of nonsense, and it felt like writer and director Eric Eichelberger was just making up things as he went along with filming the project. There was no red thread throughout the course of this movie.

As for the acting in "Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre", well, let's just say that you know what you are in for here when you sit down to watch the movie. There were no memorable performances, nor were there any particularly outstanding performances to witness.

"Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre" felt like a movie that was made by a teenager for teenagers; there was way too much focus on naked women and pseudo-lewd behavior. It just felt very infantile.

This movie was a horribly boring movie, and I have absolutely no interest in returning to watch the rest of the movie. Those prolonged 42 minutes were a struggle to get through, and believe you me, I wasn't the least bit entertained.

My rating of "Ghoul Scout Zombie Massacre" is a mere one out of ten stars. This was definitely one of the worst movies that I have stumbled upon.

To write a scathing review of this film is kind of preposterous. Is it in questionable taste? Yes. Is it kinda derivative? Of course. Zero-buget production? Check. But boring? GTFO, lulz! The women - er, uh, 'girls' - are cute, sexy, and occasionally nude. The dudes are dumb. The baddies evil perverts - and the surprise villain must be seen to believe. Plus an extended cameo by notorious genre great, Joel M. Reed (Career Bed, Bloodsucking Freaks, et al)! The slight 71 minute running time breezes by, with grotty sight gags and lewd humor galore. Your mom would hate it (which is probably the best review you can give for a film of this nature). So, yeah, high art it's not - but it is a loving homage to all things trashy, 'bad', and gross. I omitted two starts for it's short running time and flute solos. But if you're even here reading this, I guarantee you'll find something to love - just bring your barf bag!

The time I spent watching this movie back, and brain bleach. It's right up there with such fine films as Howard the Duck, Spaced Invaders, and It's Pat. Go watch paint dry or grass grow. That'll be more entertaining.

Not since the days of Gone With The Wind has a film come along with such classic charm and subtle wit. The ensemble cast gives a formidably robust and nuanced performance that would make A-list actors like George Clooney and Angelina Jolie cry tears of jealously. If only all future movies in Hollywood were cast using the characters in this film, particularly Patsy in all the leads, perhaps we could finally save the fragile genre of Motion Picture. Ghoul Scout Zombie massacre, directed by groundbreaking lesbian filmmaker Erica Eichelberger, remains a testament to the true art of Cinema. Thank you, Lord for this amazing miracle.